Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 901

You deserved it 4 898

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 666

You deserved it 13 005

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 8 705

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 559

You deserved it 82 922

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 120

You deserved it 4 855

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 212

You deserved it 19 457

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 772

You deserved it 9 263

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 656

You deserved it 20 286

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 713

You deserved it 2 156

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 863

You deserved it 27 736

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 44 530

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

dontworry101 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:30

That is pretty gross for real...but at least you know you like the taste lol

zman4357 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:51

how do you mix up the two?

taelorrae011 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:08

Uh Ew.

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 11:35

OP, please tell me it didn't taste like shit!! if it did then, how does your sisters ass taste like?? oh yeah, shit!! (maybe it was her boyfriends gay lover?) either way, stay away ya freak!!

fester420 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:40

not to worry. a penis has less germs than any other part of the body. that is unless he has VD

triggerit 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 15:42

do not worry a real **** is waiting you ahead... so be happy

mrwesson_fml 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:10

now buy a candy **** ring, seduce him/use it on him(if you're a girl) and make her try it.

Ukeee_X 19

Tuesday 15 February 2011 17:40

Does nobody seem to realise that not only would it have touched his junk, it would have touched hers to..? Yumm....

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:14

It didn't necessarily touch her "junk" as well as his. His, yes, because it was an obviously-worn **** ring. Not necessarily hers because they didn't necessarily have sex with it on. She didn't like the taste of it, meaning only her saliva would be on the ring if they hadn't actually had sex.

Ukeee_X 19

Wednesday 16 February 2011 19:05

So he put the ring on then took it off? I think not. He put it on for the purpose of intercourse, because if it were fellatio it would have been worn down or ate a little (though I wouldn't like teeth near my ****... if I had one haha.) Unless it was decorational, which doesn't make much sense.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 18 February 2011 15:31

I think he did... He had it on for the pleasure/her tasting, and she didn't like it. So, she took it off. What's the point of having a candy on your dick if your girlfriend isn't even going to taste it? None! It wouldn't have necessarily been worn down, by the way... She may not have been down there for too long, considering her dislike of the taste.