Health: Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That...

By anon - 02/05/2011 10:58 - United States

Today, I found out that the weird lump on my eye is benign. That would be great news but they aren't going to treat it at all. Now I look like I'm high all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 634

You deserved it 2 898

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 16/08/2018 23:37

Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 816

You deserved it 230

By SummerGirl0009 - 23/08/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 3 795

By nzkristy - 03/01/2010 10:59 - New Zealand

Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 953

You deserved it 2 282

Medicare for all, please?

By GladIAmMovingAbroad - 20/10/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I went to urgent care for cloudy vision and eye pain to rule out an infection. They freaked out and pressured me into going to the ER, implying I could lose my vision. Several hours and thousands of dollars later, I just have dry eyes. I hate our healthcare system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 94

Fingers crossed

By lukey101 - 05/11/2023 21:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 114

By Hoover - 01/12/2018 03:00

Today, my parents brought me to the doctor because I was faking a headache. One thing led to another, and it turns out I have a tumor pressing against my spine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 973

You deserved it 365

Hypochondriac

By Stepheroni - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 836

You deserved it 686

20/20

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 486

By Océane Léana K - 01/09/2017 01:29

Today, after coming back from a trip to Africa where I got malaria, I went to the hospital for some blood tests. The doctor said, "Good news! You never had malaria! But they put you through a lot of dangerous treatments and now your liver has an anomaly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 735

You deserved it 244

SeasonedLemur 5

Monday 2 May 2011 16:59

I smoke two joints in the morning I smoke two joints at night I smoke two joints in the afternoon It makes me feel alright I smoke two joints in times of peace And two in times of war I smoke two joints before I smoke two joints and then I smoke two more.

xxxInsanexxx 9

Monday 2 May 2011 16:23

This is a problem because you ARE stoned a lot, right?

Comments

tbonea1990 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 5:39

that's not all bad but when u r high say its the lump on your eye

gnarkill313 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 5:55

perfect excuse to actually get stoned i have severe rag weed allergy my eyes get devil red so o just smoke up

ttylmomma 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 6:11

Thats weird cause I have a bump

charliecharmande_fml 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 6:13

well now you can get high and walk around with out anyone noticing.

angel55033 12

Tuesday 3 May 2011 7:39

see a dermatologist or something I'm sure they can remove it

LilaBear 1

Thursday 5 May 2011 5:29

I'm sure they'd remove it if you specifically requested them to. My husband asked to have a harmless mole removed once because it was right where he shaved and was annoying to shave around and he kept nicking it. The GP was happy to cut it out for him then and there. If it's near your eye they might need to make more arrangements than just doing it right then and there, but I'm sure someone would do it for you.

maryrain 0

Friday 6 May 2011 2:44

so get high all the time might as well feel good while you look retarded

refuse2lose 0

Friday 6 May 2011 6:36

I always look high - cuz I am.

louiseyanna 0

Friday 6 May 2011 6:55

you just complained about not having cancer? wow. fyl for being that stupid. and you can still get it cosmetically removed, you'll just have to pay for it.