Health: Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick...

By Anonymous - 10/01/2012 06:04 - United States

Today, I found out that when my mom says she's going to kick me in the head to wake me up for an important interview, she actually means it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 127

You deserved it 21 532

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Same thing different taste

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 181

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 934

You deserved it 1 721

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 907

You deserved it 1 127

By thanksmum - 29/05/2010 17:39 - Germany

Today, I decided to take a nap before a big job interview at 6. I set two alarm clocks to make sure I didn't miss it, but I woke up at 5:59. As I'm scrambling in a panic to get out the door, my mom says calmly, "I took your alarm clocks out of your room because you looked really tired today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 074

You deserved it 3 566

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 963

You deserved it 13 188

By Numbnuts - 08/03/2010 03:08 - United States

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 348

You deserved it 38 548

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 157

By mymomsstupid - 29/06/2011 14:51 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that my mom's in jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 174

You deserved it 3 741

By Jrex89 - 02/06/2015 21:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 696

You deserved it 3 179

First impressions

By pdnne - 12/05/2009 05:48 - United States

Today, I had a really important job interview, and as i was about to leave for it my mom told me to remember to make eye contact. As I was walking in, it was the only thing I could think about, so looking directly at him my foot hits a lip in the floor and my head slams into his desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 010

You deserved it 7 763

WaSiSimiLang 8

Tuesday 10 January 2012 11:40

Effective... Crude yet effective...

steviesnm 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 11:44

Why do you need to be kicked in the head for an important interview anyways? Are you not responsible enough to do something yourself?

Comments

slapyoface1 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:09

Sucks for you!

iggz 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:15

What are you 12? Wake your own lazy ass up too. Did she pick out your clothes as well?

underguarded 20

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:56

At least it got you up instead of you missing the interview.

Steve95401 49

Tuesday 10 January 2012 13:59

Easy solution - get your lazy ass out of bed.

SALthe3rd 4

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:05

I woulda sucker punched the bitch

mikeymayhem_87 15

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:05

Perhaps buy an alarm clock with the money from the new job you might have? Then throw it at your mom for kicking you in the head! :p

xxmel 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:18

Nothing like a good kick of encouragement !

swoozie23 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:20

Wake your own ass up for the interview then?

cocodecoeur 12

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:29

Looks like you have a new alarm clock...

CoolRainbowdash 15

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:45

The alarm clock that gives you brain damage

TheDrifter 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 15:32

I'd listen to 48, anyone with a usernname like his knows a thing or two about brain damage.

biggestfan23 11

Tuesday 10 January 2012 14:58

Where's your ambition busdy

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The Top

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 3 275

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 977

You deserved it 2 851

Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 320

You deserved it 3 128

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 665

You deserved it 7 952

Today, I was just rejected from a part-time job I applied for to have something to do during my retirement. They required references from at least two former employers. I only have one former employer because I worked for the same damn company from 17 to 66 years old. This some bulls**t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 118

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 829

You deserved it 3 038

Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 1 225