Intimacy: Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking...

By bruisedego31 - 12/09/2012 21:58 - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 570

You deserved it 33 304

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Don't drink and letch

By GonnaGetFired - 31/03/2010 00:11 - United States

Today, I found out that I made inappropriate sexual comments to my boss while I was drunk on Saturday night. She won't tell me what I said. She just laughs when she sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 640

You deserved it 40 379

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 623

You deserved it 4 823

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 15:25 - United States

Today, I had a job interview with a man that I got drunk with at a bar on Saturday night. He spent an hour telling me things I did that I don't even remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 429

You deserved it 21 604

Not cool

By ash203 - 12/12/2009 21:38 - United States

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 308

You deserved it 50 371

By j - 01/03/2011 06:26

Today, I found out that the co-worker I have been dating and falling for is the same co-worker that had been spreading rumors about me and getting me in trouble with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 544

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 978

You deserved it 912

Crazy party

By Anonymous - 08/02/2020 18:00

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 602

You deserved it 344

By anon - 07/02/2010 00:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 591

You deserved it 3 582

Remember now?

By Holymoly - 14/01/2009 21:10 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 658

You deserved it 39 729

Not funny, guys

By person - 20/09/2015 23:57 - United States - League City

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 709

You deserved it 2 991

Charmillionaire 13

Thursday 13 September 2012 9:19

Walk up to her and say, "Does this look familiar?", then drop your pants.

challan 19

Thursday 13 September 2012 9:19

I bet you were a stallion, man! Orally satisfied her, rocked her world in several positions, and brought her to numerous orgasms. ummm... except you were drunk, so what really happened is you only got to half mast, came as you put the condom on, threw up on her bed and tripped over her cat as you tried to get to the bathroom. Well done.

Comments

NigerianMedicine 11

Thursday 13 September 2012 22:04

Is the blackout such a bad thing? Given the amount of alcohol you'd have to consume, I can't imagine the alleged sex being all too great.

ldoonngg 5

Thursday 13 September 2012 23:33

Hey look at the bright side, you were wasted and still tapped that! Congratulations.... I think lol

MetallicaFTW 16

Friday 14 September 2012 1:04

You probably didn't get any if you were THAT drunk anyway. If you know what I'm talking about..... Whiskey dick.....

Mousie1097 5

Friday 14 September 2012 3:18

Brilliant. ******* drunks are ruining the world

nancyschmancy 9

Friday 14 September 2012 10:19

Interesting that there is rumor about you having sex with her. Rumor is usually speculation, for the most part. You may have been together during the evening or may not have. You might have left at the same time and shared a cab (hopefully, if you were that drunk)and gone to your separate homes with none the wiser. What have you got to lose by asking her out? If she says no or makes excuses why she can't, let it go. If a woman is interested, she won't ever say no.