Kids: Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked...

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 19:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 634

You deserved it 9 527

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 04:16 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 6 853

By fatteningmeup - 26/05/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 421

You deserved it 3 795

Sorry sweaty

By Tori - 05/02/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 8 376

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 208

You deserved it 5 713

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 09:23 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 501

You deserved it 1 644

Dietitian is the recognized title

By fatty mcfatfuck - 24/06/2020 02:02

Today, I caught my mother-in-law filling my one-year-old's cup with Dr. Pepper. When I flipped out, she told me I was overreacting since "all her kids turned out fine." Save for my husband, all her kids are morbidly obese diabetics who’ve struggled with poor diets. She herself is almost 450 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 018

You deserved it 152

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 445

You deserved it 1 528

By JadedBaker - 08/07/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 084

You deserved it 1 996

By Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood - 09/12/2013 05:52 - United States - West Bend

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 755

You deserved it 7 907

**** your "beach body" noise

By that’s not how it works - 16/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 117

amandathecreator 22

Sunday 9 June 2013 2:51

I think she's confused with cooking food to kill bacteria ! Hahahah she's needs to take a nutrition class , poor girl

SirTalkaton 22

Sunday 9 June 2013 2:55

We have the cure for obesity, just bake everything! Hooray!

Comments

Sir_Swaggington 6

Sunday 9 June 2013 23:35

Better watch out for her. She's probably the type of girl to believe that jumping up and down after sex counts as birth control.

ViviMage 38

Monday 10 June 2013 8:54

Sneeze, wash, stand up, some rhyme you say. Even douching/drinking bleach. None of that works!

gatorgirl2669 6

Monday 10 June 2013 1:52

wow... i think she needs to take some baking classes... and she might need to take chemistry... wow she's a smart one

life_sucks225 13

Monday 10 June 2013 2:51

yes, yes you did.

4002489 1

Monday 10 June 2013 4:10

If you lived in America this wouldn't be a FML

the_dumb_duck 7

Monday 10 June 2013 6:09

The humane thing is to put her down

ViviMage 38

Monday 10 June 2013 8:49

Alcohol is boiled off, so most, but not all baked goods with yeast had alcohol but have very little by the time it is baked and cut. Heat kills bacteria Just tell her if she keeps eating the muffins they will collect in her midsection and she'll have a muffin top!

chuckcloninger 12

Monday 10 June 2013 19:12

Apparently you're not through raising her as she has many things to learn it seems.

doodlebug33 20

Monday 10 June 2013 19:35

Can she see her toes?

clixed 12

Tuesday 11 June 2013 18:44

That's awesome! Lol sorry to hear op. maybe get her to go to a nutritionalist and have them explain the reality of baked goods and sugar. Or, there's always health magazines and the Internet :)