Miscellaneous: Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to...

By Tim - 07/08/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 723

You deserved it 3 357

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Same thing different taste

Lurker

By Katie - 20/02/2011 08:35 - Reserved

Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 067

You deserved it 3 101

Snek

By afraidtosleep - 13/10/2012 06:35 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 6 327

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 336

You deserved it 539

By seriousdubsteplover - 30/10/2009 05:08 - Australia

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 675

You deserved it 2 173

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 424

You deserved it 4 370

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 18:52 - Macedonia

Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 787

You deserved it 6 879

Not on a plane

By Surewhatever - 16/10/2019 14:01

Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 145

Sneeeeek!

By blindsparrow - 18/11/2014 05:35 - United States - Dublin

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 389

You deserved it 2 945

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 227

You deserved it 45 475

Thanksssss

By Mojosahomo - 10/01/2018 17:30 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 622

slitherbomb 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

At least it wasn't a naked man slithering across your kitchen floor…

cbaidchris 6

Sunday 7 August 2011 9:06

Snaaaaake, snaaaaaake, ohhhhh itttssss aaa snaaaaake...

Comments

CynicalDepressio 6

Monday 8 August 2011 3:22

At least you dont have stage 4 cancer?

jb5794 1

Monday 8 August 2011 3:29

theres worse(:

lv8898 0

Monday 8 August 2011 5:26

snakes I can deal with. spiders, not so much. I am severely arachnaphobic

jinglez 4

Monday 8 August 2011 6:14

What about two snakes slithering across your kitchen floor

kaitlyn17000 0

Monday 8 August 2011 8:02

I'd cry. I'm deathly afraid of them

ZzkekekezZ 0

Monday 8 August 2011 8:05

nothing Billy the exterminator can't handle!

pita2423 10

Monday 8 August 2011 8:13

just get the 12 Gage and pump it full of lead. or call an exterminator.

Arch27 27

Monday 8 August 2011 17:22

Arch27 27

Monday 8 August 2011 17:25

I wouldn't cry, but I'd totally break out in a cold sweat. I'm deathly afraid of snakes too.

vashthestampede 0

Monday 8 August 2011 17:54

Bear Grylls that bitch! Save money and eat it!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my parents are mad because I turned down a job. It offered below minimum wage to work 12-hour shifts, six days a week, and the list of benefits was less than the occupational hazards. When I showed them what McDonald's was paying and their benefits in comparison, they accused me of being lazy and entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 112

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for "disciplining" her son, saying, "You're not his father!" I've lived with them for two years, supporting them, while his real father is off shooting up heroin, but sure, I'm out of line for telling the little brat that I don't like being called "Butt-crack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, my boss called me and asked why I haven't been showing up to work. I didn't show up because he fired me last week over the phone. Then he fired me again for not showing up to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 760

You deserved it 1 356

Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my blanket, and dropped her on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 704

You deserved it 23 185

Today, I turned 22, without anyone wishing me a happy birthday. In fact, the only phone call I received all day was from my brother. He wanted to borrow money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 149

You deserved it 7 466

Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 824

You deserved it 4 240

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 181

You deserved it 2 917

Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 727

You deserved it 3 529