App
FML for mobile
Free
Open in app

By IntimidatorStag - 06/02/2009 23:54 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 346
You deserved it 30 579
May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

whiskeydick 0

who gets anything off of one beer anyway? if she was any more of a lightweight she'd float away.

151 6
dan81892 2

it means that she thought she was drinking something alcoholic, and her being "drunk" was all in her head, although she still managed to do something stupid like crashing the OP's car.

121 0

Comments

hotdamn 0

Glad to see your girlfriend can manage her alcohol well!

6 0
kayykatastrophii 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
20 37
pinkdottedbow 0

It's because people are just too stupid to ever pick up something non-alcoholic. To them, it's always best to get drunk (that is, until they get liver cancer or something of the sort).

4 8
Grimmerie 31

i like beer. in my entire life, i've been drunk twice. i just happen to like the taste. but hey, nice generalisations!

9 1
crownlogic 25

Liking beer does not necessarily have to do with "wanting something alcoholic". Other cultures don't make it so taboo for alcohol to be distributed and people of all ages get to taste it throughout their lives. I come from a background where it is normal to allow your children to taste your champagne on New Year's Eve or have a sip or your drink if they were curious, or even when we were abroad they would try to serve us individual after dinner drinks as children (which I refused). I also grew up never once drinking a full drink until about 19 or so, and this was in countries where it was legal for me to do so. Being "straight edge" is fine...as long as you have a basis for it.

12 1
DarkCvengence 15

Well it all depends on how you were raised and your heritage if your mostly Irish you'll tend to like whiskey more and also if you were raised to like beer then you'll drink it also people have different tastes so yeah and non alcoholic beer is supposed to taste like normal beer I've had some and it only had a bad after taste and it was some Jamaican stuff soo yeah

0 2
Guiseppi 0

Dude, your girlfriend's a freaking idiot.

24 1
chaosbrocade 0

Anybody remember that Freaks and Geeks episode where they get everybody at the party drunk on non-alcoholic beer?

16 0
Raceta 5

We gave a friend of ours a bottle of vodka filled with water... She drank it all and thought she was hammered. She ended up kissing my friends dad, breaking their door step, breaking up with her boyfriend and calling us all dirty *****... It was hilarious... and then the next day she had a hangover! It is amazing what the power of the mind can do to make you think you are drunk!

32 3
usernamesarehard 4

How did she not taste the difference between vodka and water?

13 0
anythingcool 0

vodka is actually tasteless, sually flavors are added, but you do get the plain thing, its like water in taste, but you obviuosly dont get the throat burn etc...hehe.

5 3
MakeItStopWtf 12

Where exactly do you get this "tasteless" vodka, and what is it called?

6 0
zook43 0

42: how could your friend possibly think water was vodka? getting "drunk" off of nonalcoholic beer is one thing, but water and vodka?

6 0
abceasyas123abc 12

Sure doesn't taste like it, buddy.

12 0
Tyrax 16

The *really* expensive, smooth vodka has no taste, and little smell.

0 0
earwig12 1

#43 - if you've never had alcohol before you might not realize. Also, I think this is really interesting because it tells you what people's beliefs about what alcohol does are. I'm betting if she was a drinker who had driven drunk and gotten lucky before, she wouldn't have crashed the car.

6 0