Intimacy: Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls... - FML

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 110

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

paperfox_fml 0

Friday 22 May 2009 2:11

#5, where do you expect her to keep it? In a locked safe behind the picture of Grandma and Grandad hanging at the top of the landing 7ft off the floor with a high-tech alarm system and a self-destruct mode if the fingerprint scanner recognises it to be the fingerprint of someone under the age of 18?

Antonio718 0

Friday 22 May 2009 2:02

It wasn't being put into use anyways...

Comments

BlueShad0w 5

Monday 17 August 2009 18:20

omg :)) good one :D

22jrdn55 15

Monday 31 August 2009 22:47

omg lmaoo... YDI for not hiddng to ur ***** better rofl i cant stop laughing

Brouhaha_fml 0

Friday 16 October 2009 7:08

agrees with #11

Lenicka 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 11:41

LOL....cool kid :-)

Sabbalabba1992 3

Tuesday 8 December 2009 19:44

The fact that he was chasing girls with it makes me think that he knew what it really was.

plug_in_baby69 0

Wednesday 6 January 2010 2:07

at least he wasnt chasing the boys with it :)

LemonMan 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 5:43

#20 wins and LOL I can't imagine the teachers face when she/he saw this happening

lxclark 17

Wednesday 24 February 2010 2:53

I agree too :D

brit8741 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 0:46

#114 I love it! Why the hell are little kids in this site? If you still have a bedtime you should get off of here!! No one cares about the grammar on this site. OP I reallly want to hear how you explained that one... "He stayed the night at grandma's/friend's house last night..." ;)

lovergirl7 1

Wednesday 10 March 2010 3:37

#20 you are my hero

25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32

Keywords

Awkward Love Friends Haircut Miscellaneous Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Intimacy Sex Am I overreacting? Poopoo peepee Management Frustration Capitalism Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Technology Mental health

The Top

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 074

You deserved it 6 726

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 038

You deserved it 14 697

Today, I took a stick lighter and used it to set a large spider on fire to kill it, as stepping on it could possibly release its babies if it were a momma. I ignited more than the spider, and had to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 1 931

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 626

You deserved it 4 919

Today, I was lying on the couch when saw the Airheads commercial where a jump-roping construction worker falls and lands on his nuts and says, in a deadpan tone, "Oh my goodness." A few minutes later, my cat jumped from the table and landed on my nuts, and I said, "Oh my goodness" with the very same inflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 293

Today, my sister-in-law is refusing to let me or my children be a part of her kids' lives. She’s even going as far as trying to make my brother stop speaking to us as well. Why? Simply because I'm an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 379

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow some tools. Trying to be friendly, I asked how he was doing. He then spent the next 45 minutes describing his recent breakup in excruciating detail. I just wanted him to take the tools and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 161