Miscellaneous: Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted...

By Sally - 22/08/2011 00:17 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 899

You deserved it 69 423

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Same thing different taste

Lava lamp

By Kathleen Verhaegen - 30/04/2020 20:00

Today, I'm so pale, my boss asked me whether I light up in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 296

Trumped

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 731

By waytootan - 22/08/2011 20:34 - United States

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 019

You deserved it 3 130

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 586

You deserved it 39 978

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 735

You deserved it 3 971

By blotchy-girl - 15/07/2009 04:00 - New Zealand

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 6 737

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 522

You deserved it 39 343

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 160

Lookin' good

By racoonface - 19/04/2009 15:17 - United States

Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 680

You deserved it 54 755

New, from L'Oréal!

By oompaloompa - 28/10/2019 12:00

Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 461

teqifsha 0

Monday 22 August 2011 8:49

Your fault

Jacobt24 19

Monday 22 August 2011 8:49

You didn't correct her before she started spraying? YDI

Comments

sodamnrandom 13

Saturday 8 June 2013 14:00

you got what you asked for OP.

estelle1998_fml 3

Monday 22 July 2013 7:11

Well at least you didn't say purple jokingly

Narutosuns2fan 12

Wednesday 20 November 2013 22:06

This isn't an FML if it was completely your fault.

ethan_unoxx 29

Saturday 12 July 2014 5:16

That's what you get.

MozillaHostile 21

Tuesday 22 December 2015 19:47

You deserved it for getting a spray tan

KingDomino 9

Tuesday 2 February 2016 2:40

You reap what you sew.

WyrmKing 4

Sunday 27 March 2016 15:56

Extra crispy

idkwhyxD 5

Thursday 27 October 2016 19:19

.p0f1tjh1qhhtthrummmm4tdmr4

kevinsagirl2323 8

Friday 6 October 2017 17:08

of course she took you seriously you idiot.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 130

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 37 805

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I agree, your life sucks 59 873

You deserved it 5 678

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I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 7 001

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I agree, your life sucks 28 627

You deserved it 2 725

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 773

You deserved it 6 273

Today, I've got a bad stomach ache, so my mother asked me ifI was on my period. I told her that no, in fact I haven't had it in three months. Now she won't speak to me because she's convinced that I have a secret boyfriend and am pregnant. I'm a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 022

You deserved it 566