Love: Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked....

By Geewizz - 05/04/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 483

You deserved it 4 709

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 764

You deserved it 3 624

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 2 990

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:03 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 658

You deserved it 6 233

Go Team!

By Gayer men’s team - 02/11/2017 04:00

Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 807

You deserved it 1 396

By anonymous - 14/01/2012 11:42 - Australia

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 680

You deserved it 3 647

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 379

You deserved it 23 084

By awkward. - 29/12/2012 15:50 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 3 187

Life's a beach

By Brittanyy_leigh - 17/12/2009 07:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 155

You deserved it 6 016

Tanning

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 15 760

By loganHchrist - 09/01/2014 00:53 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. They thought it would be funny to pretend that they're nudists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 037

You deserved it 4 974

alex18_fml 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 16:17

Dump Herrrrrrr.

nomadxx7 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 16:27

Harsh. As for the dude being gay, I'm sure if the OP and his GF were together for a period of time he'd have met her friends (including the gay friend). Otherwise I'd talk to her, find out who he is and then probably dump her. I would never be naked around my girl friends since I have a girlfriend and that would be disrespectful. I guess the best course of action would be to figure out who Kevin is (gay or not). If he isn't then find a cute girl friend and then find a situation where you could be naked and hopefully when your girlfriend texts you you can use the same line against her. That's the best way to mindfuck someone. Use the same situation against them so they can walk in your shoes for a while. That way if she dumps your or gets mad at you then you have an excuse to tell her what you really think of the situation she was in. And if she was "joking" about a guy being over there that's just wrong in general and definitely not something you'd do to someone you supposedly love.

Comments

sallymoottzz31 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 18:33

kick his asss then kick her to the curb theres more fish in the sea u dont need stupid dram bullshit like that

amy_shmamy 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 18:34

that last sentence was unnecessary it wouldve been better without it it just dragged on the punchline most things are better if you dont keep explaining it okay?