Holidays: Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's...

By nice one - 14/07/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 796

You deserved it 2 744

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Same thing different taste

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 162

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 163

You deserved it 3 513

By Micmicmic - 15/04/2017 04:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, my mom let my younger brother borrow my car. He managed to crash it through the garage door. While I was in another country. Somehow, I manage to get berated by my mom because I'm not doing enough to make my brother feel better about him having an accident involving my car and my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 764

You deserved it 348

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 035

You deserved it 9 629

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 436

Anger management

By FML - 08/12/2013 18:00 - Puerto Rico - Cayey

Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 661

You deserved it 3 397

By srs - 11/08/2018 20:30

Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 080

You deserved it 513

Get out

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 18:00

Today, I drove 10 hours on a broken foot to get away, because my drunk dad decided to shove me to the ground multiple times, and now I have to get fusion surgery on my foot. I also found out he’s trying to get me arrested for burglary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 133

Drunk level: 2000

By morningbirdie - 20/09/2020 14:01

Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 99

Fast Cars

By Chris21 - 11/09/2019 22:04 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 161

uhhSavage 22

Monday 15 July 2013 0:23

I bet he drove you crazy.

Nordrag 26

Monday 15 July 2013 0:49

Naaa. People only post things they're happy about on this site.

Comments

perdix 29

Monday 15 July 2013 0:27

This is WHY you don't drive. You can't even maneuver the car safely out of the driveway!

AngrySailor 17

Monday 15 July 2013 2:21

Someone obviously forgot to turn the a/c off before exiting the car.

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Monday 15 July 2013 2:37

The answer is obvious, the cow did it.

Pstraka6 20

Monday 15 July 2013 0:30

Next he might blame it on the liquor. I think you two should get a drink and talk about this, preferably water though this time.

emeraldisle 30

Monday 15 July 2013 0:37

You weren't even there to do it. When he sobers up tell him he's paying for it.

AboveAll04 14

Monday 15 July 2013 0:41

do you happen to be Asian or a woman cause neither can drive !

perdix 29

Monday 15 July 2013 0:42

You should accept the blame and repay your dad for the damages with a bottle of Jack. Yeah, you can fight the uphill battle of getting a raging alcoholic to accept responsibility, or you can smooth it over with the help of Mr, Daniels. Or Mr. Cuervo. Or Capt. Morgan. Or the Right Reverend Jaegermeister.

colvindj 22

Monday 15 July 2013 0:50

it's always the expected person

cottoncandymango 17

Monday 15 July 2013 0:51

Time to help your dad out.

buckdharma 36

Monday 15 July 2013 0:54

Tell your dad you saw a pink elephant do it, right after it finished off the last of his hooch and smashed the car.

TheAuditor 4

Saturday 10 August 2013 19:08

Does no one get the pink elephant thing? C'mon I was like 10 when I was told what that meant by my grandma, because I got a pink elephant in my ******' happy meal. Upvote for you.