Intimacy: Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for...

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 967

You deserved it 8 441

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Same thing different taste

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 126

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 982

You deserved it 2 601

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 45 872

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 7 033

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 290

You deserved it 4 017

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 227

Turned on… and off

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

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You deserved it 117

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 386

You deserved it 103 231

Egg mode activated

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 18:00

Today, my girlfriend insisted on dressing me up in her clothes, to spice things up. After dolling me up in a dress, heels, wig, etc., she goes to the store for wine but left her key behind. Thirty minutes later, the doorbell goes, so I open it in all my feminine glory, only to see a UPS guy standing holding a parcel and not my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030

You deserved it 816

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 331

You deserved it 2 301

flockz 19

Tuesday 30 April 2013 23:28

did you rock them motha fuckas?

MissMess 12

Tuesday 30 April 2013 23:28

So, not a onesie fan?

Comments

after4ffect 11

Friday 3 May 2013 21:32

dude, that's awesome. I'm totally envious

Cowsxgoxmoo78 8

Saturday 4 May 2013 10:50

Let's be honest... There are much worse things she could have pulled out. A gun, a bomb, a strap on. And on the bright side you probably slept like a baby :-)

The_FML_Life 7

Saturday 4 May 2013 13:53

You must like freaks

MillerBeerTime 5

Saturday 4 May 2013 14:50

So...just put em on and get it in

jmcali21 1

Saturday 4 May 2013 18:30

Did you even wait? Maybe after she finished putting them on it was gonna get good?

amisenho 11

Tuesday 7 May 2013 17:56

"Expecting to be pleasured"? Well, there's your problem.

baref00tmama 15

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:20

Right...because when someone greets you in lingerie and pushes you onto a bed, they definitely aren't trying to seduce you. By your inference, the OPs problem is that he draws logical conclusions from a situation.