Intimacy: Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for... - FML

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By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 981

You deserved it 8 446

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Same thing different taste

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 15/12/2015 18:10 - Germany - Munich

Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 990

You deserved it 2 601

Don't you want me baby?

By Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Spicy

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Spicy

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 063

You deserved it 45 902

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 948

You deserved it 7 035

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 4 022

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Spicy

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 232

Turned on… and off

By Anonymous - 15/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was washing the dishes when my wife came in wearing a new lingerie set, smiling at me. I dropped what I was doing and carried her to bed. After we'd finished, she went downstairs for a drink, saw the dishes I hadn't cleaned, and started a fight. Now I'm on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 149

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 389

You deserved it 103 246

Egg mode activated

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend insisted on dressing me up in her clothes, to spice things up. After dolling me up in a dress, heels, wig, etc., she goes to the store for wine but left her key behind. Thirty minutes later, the doorbell goes, so I open it in all my feminine glory, only to see a UPS guy standing holding a parcel and not my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 820

Next

Top comments

flockz 19

Tuesday 30 April 2013 23:28

did you rock them motha fuckas?

MissMess 12

Tuesday 30 April 2013 23:28

So, not a onesie fan?

Comments

Rababco 29

Wednesday 12 February 2014 22:30

Maybe she's trying to hint that she wants to have baby or that she's pregnant? Either that or she has a weird fetish or something.

jen1097 25

Tuesday 13 January 2015 9:42

I like this woman

bambam42069 13

Tuesday 3 February 2015 4:38

Sounds like you have a creative girlfriend

Tyrax 16

Friday 22 July 2016 2:26

It's a fetish thing, dude. If you don't want her trying to dress you in diapers or possibly littke girl clothes, run.

lucasj2345 7

Tuesday 12 September 2017 15:24

and apparently you let her. ydi

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The Top

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 927

You deserved it 17 049

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 629

You deserved it 28 512

The Top

Today, I came home to find my husband’s disgusting pig of a sister let herself in while we were at work and decided to take a nap in our bed. Not only did she not ask to visit, she left a huge smelly period stain on my favorite sheets. No apology, no attempt to clean up. I didn’t give her a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 97

Today, after celebrating our 5 year anniversary, my girl told me that’s she loves me, but is not in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 109

Today, my wife expressed how much she misses going out dancing, so I told her I'd be glad to work on my two left feet with her. She said, "I already tried to teach you" before lamenting the time she's missed out on dancing with the cowboy guys she used to dance with. She's now watching dance videos 10ft away, looking all sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 134

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 6 019

Today, I was getting ready for school and stepped out on my porch to go wait for the bus. I literally said out loud, “Today is gonna be a good day.” I took one step and fell all the way down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 189

Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school. My boyfriend thinks I'll give him rabies and refuses to let me sleep in the same bed with him or initiate sex. I need two more shots over the next 3 weeks, which means sleeping on the couch for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 774

You deserved it 366