Miscellaneous: Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich...

By Aether - 03/06/2014 22:51 - United States - Lake Jackson

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 570

You deserved it 4 774

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Same thing different taste

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

By nature - 25/09/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 338

By me - 20/12/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 455

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 162

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 942

You deserved it 3 934

By ninalian - 22/05/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 181

You deserved it 4 505

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 5 834

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 852

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 249

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 197

paigexox0 37

Wednesday 4 June 2014 8:39

Thats...concerning. Also..really guys, first AND second comment?

poopsi 19

Wednesday 4 June 2014 8:45

I don't know.. Seems like a good conversation starter to me.. :c

Comments

grapefruit_hd 7

Wednesday 4 June 2014 10:18

Up vote this because I didn't have a bad pun

grapefruit_hd 7

Wednesday 4 June 2014 10:24

It's how mi *** ur bich

martin8337 35

Wednesday 4 June 2014 11:28

Fecalphiliac?

morbid1 2

Wednesday 4 June 2014 22:01

copro

kenoswild 14

Wednesday 4 June 2014 12:17

I wish I never woke up and read this. ...

Cagara_fml 10

Wednesday 4 June 2014 12:58

where did you guys meet? in a rest room?!

jh921971 10

Wednesday 4 June 2014 13:45

Sounds like this guy lost a bet

thetacoking 9

Wednesday 4 June 2014 13:51

Wow, that's not something anyone should say out loud. Yikes!

orsombre_fml 11

Wednesday 4 June 2014 14:15

I don't know if it is a good conversation starter but it should really work as a conversation ender.

vikky538 28

Wednesday 4 June 2014 14:19

that's shitty... well at least now he knows what not to use for breaking ice...

Marielle_T 10

Wednesday 4 June 2014 15:23

Even though it is a pretty gross conversation starter, that must be the most poectic way someone could describe poop smell!

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The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 651

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 58

The Top

Today, I keep hearing a tapping noise in my bedroom every few seconds. I don't know where it's coming from, but I do know it's driving me crazy, and it's impossible for me to ignore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 68

Today, my dad was given 2 VIP tickets to see my favourite band in concert next week. You can now find them on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 665

You deserved it 4 250

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 1 887

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 596

You deserved it 22 351

Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 474

You deserved it 2 195

Same thing different taste

Noise machine

Too real

TMI, dude

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