Miscellaneous: Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich...

By Aether - 03/06/2014 22:51 - United States - Lake Jackson

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 570

You deserved it 4 774

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Same thing different taste

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 859

By nature - 25/09/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 377

You deserved it 338

By me - 20/12/2011 03:53 - United States

Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 2 455

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 162

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 942

You deserved it 3 934

By ninalian - 22/05/2011 06:30 - United States

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 181

You deserved it 4 505

Noise machine

By achtung - 01/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I had to use my friend's toilet. His pretty cute sister was in the kitchen adjoining the bathroom, so I smiled and said hi on my way through. I then had the loudest and most vile-sounding shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 139

You deserved it 5 834

Too real

By ann - 05/06/2021 14:00

Today, my daughter complained that she no longer wanted to talk about poop, as it grosses her out. This is a girl who can eat a rare steak while watching a guy’s arms get hacked off on TV, but poop is where she draws the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 852

TMI, dude

By Anonymous - 23/11/2018 16:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, my brother met my girlfriend for the first time. Instead of making a good first impression, the first thing he did was talk about how he just took a massive dump and didn't wipe very well, and that's why his hand smelled bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 249

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 197

paigexox0 37

Wednesday 4 June 2014 8:39

Thats...concerning. Also..really guys, first AND second comment?

poopsi 19

Wednesday 4 June 2014 8:45

I don't know.. Seems like a good conversation starter to me.. :c

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 4 June 2014 16:12

Well then it can work with farmers...sort of..manure? Got enough tom boys or farmers it may work...I don't recommend it though but hey worth a shot

Attacksloth 33

Wednesday 4 June 2014 17:14

My fiancee's uncle is a beef farmer and he says the exact same thing. OP, maybe you met him.

NPN_Scorpio 16

Wednesday 4 June 2014 18:37

Tell him to try out for this decade's remake of "The Fly". Also, you might find his stamina to be off the charts. Be sure to stock up on carb-laden sport drinks.

chuksnwali 34

Wednesday 4 June 2014 20:47

wait ... what?

flipthebirdfuxku 10

Wednesday 4 June 2014 23:11

Were they foreign exchange? grew up on a farm? There are many ways in which this could be normal, we just aren't used to it in our culture.

JKPwnage 27

Wednesday 4 June 2014 23:32

While I feel sorry for OP, I'm also sorry for the person OP had to talk to. (S)he probably has some kind of disorder that limits understanding of social cues. It suck having to grow up with something like that; I would know.

TerraShadow 18

Thursday 5 June 2014 3:42

It totally is though!

theonecasey 27

Thursday 5 June 2014 5:32

Ewwy ewwy eww!!!

elizabethia 5

Thursday 5 June 2014 6:37

Maybe it's just me, but that really sounds like a sarcastic comment one of my friends would make so I can't help but assume whoever said that was not being serious.