Love: Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting...

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

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Same thing different taste

By Princeton - 22/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 766

You deserved it 47 963

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 943

You deserved it 7 033

By hannax - 16/08/2016 17:26 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 1 710

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 23 959

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 1 240

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 261

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 970

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 908

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

lucky0514 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 19:01

WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI

Neferria 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:58

Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?

Comments

saze_fml 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:44

what is this chick ******* homeless or something?! she can't sleep at her place?

deathbunny256 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:46

Next time wait until the fifth day of texting.

fooliomcgee 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:49

How in the world does "You know, I would like to take a nap" translate to sex? And four days, damn, long time to know a person...

kisseshugsdrugs 5

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:50

wait a second, youve been texting for four whole days and she wont have sex with you? where are the lack of morals these days?

hashi1 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:51

You are stupid. But I have to agree with someone above me....seriously who comes over to someone else's house to take a nap?

fmh123 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 20:59

not really a FYI, i may sound like a pansy but taking a nap with a girl aint bad

iloveyou_baybe1 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 21:31

This is NOT a FML. It should be, "Today, i thought i could have sex with someone i've only talked to for four days. I was wrong because i'm a dumbass. FML." THAT would have made a lick a sense! GEEZ! Anyway, guys like you are total douche bags.

bee13 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 21:38

I feel sorry for yah, but you shouldn't of expected anything and you shoulda believed her.

artiststatement 21

Sunday 9 August 2009 21:38

YDI for spelling your username wrong.

xevioso 0

Monday 10 August 2009 5:18

was about to say something like that. lol.

bigotcretin 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 21:48

you guys are ******* idiots, she said she was coming over and she was intending on doing an activity in bed, why the hell wouldn't he think it was for sex? She could've easily took a nap at home instead of inconveniencing herself to go to a guys house whom she barely knows!