Love: Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting...

By hugedissapointment - 09/08/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I had a girl come over to my house that I had been texting for four days. I asked her what she wanted to do and she replied "take a nap". Becoming really excited I lead her to my bedroom and went to the hiding spot for my condoms, she was serious about the nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 932

You deserved it 63 633

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Same thing different taste

By Princeton - 22/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 766

You deserved it 47 963

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 966

You deserved it 823

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 943

You deserved it 7 033

By hannax - 16/08/2016 17:26 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 329

You deserved it 1 710

By cockblocked - 11/05/2012 18:29 - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 903

You deserved it 23 959

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 1 240

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 261

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 491

You deserved it 7 970

No chance

By Anonymous - 21/02/2020 14:00

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 908

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 162

lucky0514 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 19:01

WTF is wrong with you people... "texting" for four days and you wanna have sex with her? YDIYDIYDI

Neferria 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 18:58

Wait, why did she want to come to your place for a nap?

Comments

bigotcretin 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 21:51

also most women are usually comfortable enough with a man to sleep with him between 4-10 hour face time mark. Scientifically proven.

Allornone 35

Thursday 10 November 2011 16:48

Um, even if you could back up your "scientifically proven" theory with actual science, he's been TEXTING her. The only face time he's had is with his phone

VenomSiphon 13

Sunday 9 August 2009 22:01

You were texting your house for four days? Grammar fail.

mlleangelique 3

Sunday 9 August 2009 22:43

Ignoring the more general fail of this, the grammar is technically ambiguous but perfectly correct (and shouldn't be expected to be different given that the context makes the subject clear). Well, apart from the final comma.

Ranoona 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 22:08

hahahaha X)

jessica21194 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 22:18

oh come on, taking naps together is cute.

shaeto 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 22:19

I didn't know houses could own cell phones. Word your sentences better next time.

Music_rocks 7

Sunday 9 August 2009 23:18

"because of"

plexico 3

Sunday 9 August 2009 23:33

Or, it may be that lingo is too old for you. I had a friend who used that code phrase 20+ years ago. The girl probably meant "take a nap" as code for sex, but when she saw the OP, she went literal. Instead of telling the dude he was too fat or ugly to "take a nap" with, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, she took the innocent route. Way to keep ypur options open, babe!

OnDistantShores 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 23:55

She said she wanted to take a nap. Then you get sad when she wants to take a nap. Umm...did I miss something here?

RandomBlonde 0

Monday 10 August 2009 0:17

YDI for assuming she'd want to sleep with a douche like you. Because its SO sad that a girl wouldn't want to **** a guy shes only been texting for four days. Theres this thing, its kinda mushy and grey-ish, and located within your skull; Its called a BRAIN. USE IT.