Miscellaneous: Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly... - FML

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 37 756

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Same thing different taste

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 508

By kaynotentirelywrong - 15/08/2013 16:49 - Canada - Repentigny

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 203

You deserved it 13 353

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 760

You deserved it 1 184

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 06:00

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital because he thought it would be funny to Superglue googly eyes to his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 307

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 955

By Mystery LeRale - 15/01/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I spent four hours practicing funny voices. I have literally nothing better to do all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 540

You deserved it 8 457

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 03:25 - France

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 578

You deserved it 13 892

By AlexK - 18/06/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 172

You deserved it 65 380

By atomwolf - 09/12/2016 17:01 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I wanted to work out the volume of my penis and did so on the first piece of paper I could find on my desk. After I finished the calculations I realized that the other side of the paper was in fact my school report. It's the only copy I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 000

You deserved it 12 077

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 656

You deserved it 7 400

Next

Top comments

TheGuyOverThere 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:34

Time you enjoy wasting cannot truly be called wasted ;-)

Malika_fml 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:40

how is that an FML?? I'll make a penis out of silly putty any time!!!!

Comments

christen09 8

Monday 16 November 2009 2:28

first!

2dsonicfan91 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:28

*clap* *clap* *clap* Bravo. Does your life have meaning now?

Starchild21 3

Monday 16 November 2009 2:38

I think that's the closest she'll ever come to a penis. _________________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

StCharlie 0

Monday 16 November 2009 4:55

did you use it?

christen09 8

Monday 16 November 2009 5:25

not anymore now that its gone. ******* bitches i'm never first.

Say_hi 0

Monday 16 November 2009 6:00

EWIE! Penis!

WTFsGoingOn 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:28

Way to be proactive with your time.

XxSKELETOxX 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:31

4th!

TheGuyOverThere 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:34

Time you enjoy wasting cannot truly be called wasted ;-)

Whoa_YouSuckk 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:38

i bet this is one of those FMLs that'll just end up getting deleted in a few minutes.. that happens with all the funny ones anyways, that seems like an awesome way to spend a day. (:

TheSuitGuy 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:38

This is the trash they put up on the front page now? FML has hit rock bottom, and started digging.

Malika_fml 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:40

how is that an FML?? I'll make a penis out of silly putty any time!!!!

Tevokkia 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:41

Honestly, why all these FMLs that are just "Today I had nothing better to do than (insert trivial, immature time-wasting activity here)"? They're neither funny nor "FML". I certainly wish I had that much time to be silly. If they really wanted to do something else, they obviously could have, but chose not to.

mrbob360 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:41

a non made up fml... wow

i_is_a_tr00l 0

Monday 16 November 2009 2:41

Did you shove it up your butthole afterwards?

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

The Top

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his or his mom's name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we'd found her she told me, "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 840

You deserved it 2 818

Today, I monitored my students as they conducted a lab experiment. I was walking to the other side of the room while looking at a student who seemed about to ask a question. When she looked up at me, I walked into a wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 696

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 645

You deserved it 4 051

Today, I called my husband asking what kind of flute I'm supposed to pick up for our daughter, as she wants to play an instrument at school. Over the phone, my husband told me, “It’s a skin flute.” The man behind the music store counter wasn't sure how to respond when I told him what I needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 420

Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 952

Today, my English teacher told me that I failed my grammar test. Her exact words were "You ain't gonna pass this class if you ain't gonna study." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 677

You deserved it 7 559