Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started...

By are you kidding me? - 10/03/2014 08:22 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 534

You deserved it 4 481

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 18:23

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 135

You deserved it 3 563

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 018

You deserved it 7 833

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 348

You deserved it 14 502

Diversion tactics

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 08:00

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 73

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 277

You deserved it 4 253

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 463

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 875

You deserved it 2 728

Well done

By Anonymous - 17/10/2015 11:41 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 320

You deserved it 4 296

By Already Broke Asf - 18/11/2015 01:51 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, my 19-year-old brother broke into my dorm and robbed me. When I tried to file a report, my brother went to my parents and told them that he took it because I owed him money on a bet. Guess who lost $92.50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 339

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 125

You deserved it 2 592

capslockisgood 19

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Owl bet he feels pretty dumb now!

That_Ginger 18

Monday 10 March 2014 15:05

Your location verifies my suspicion that your brother fought Ron Weasely. What a lucky guy.

Comments

TheHeavyOne 15

Tuesday 11 March 2014 3:35

I hope booze was involved.

carabobara 7

Tuesday 11 March 2014 7:36

on the plus side, now you have a good story for Easter, "guess hoo got arrested...yup owls again"

mbuck87 19

Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:09

And HE'S the one who was put in jail?! If you don't like owls you deserve to get hit!

SnowyFox 6

Wednesday 12 March 2014 2:46

Well I mean, owls ARE pretty awesome.

baref00tmama 15

Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:59

YOLO=You Obviously Like Owls!

chickenman12312 12

Wednesday 12 March 2014 17:49

Hoo would do such a thing?

Daiseyrayne 6

Wednesday 12 March 2014 22:19

Well you cant just not like owls!!!!!!!

Klairem11 11

Thursday 13 March 2014 3:00

Owl bet he wishes he never got into that fight

Alastor13X 8

Friday 14 March 2014 2:54

Is your brother ******* Buckle from American Dad or something? Wow...

reinsg 6

Friday 14 March 2014 4:51

That's a hoot!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Relatable Shoes Cars Transportation Insurance Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Awkward Food Clumsy Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 64

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 6 514

The Top

Today, we attended my daughter’s dance show. When they shut the lights off, my 2 year-old son started to sing “Happy Birthday”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 74

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 44 532

Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 107

Today, my crew and I were berated by a client for not installing her new hardwood floor on time. We were only halfway through the day, but apparently it should have only taken "like, an hour?" because "The guys on the TV shows do it that fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 879

You deserved it 2 863

Today, I received two letters, one from my mom, the other from my dad, about how much they missed me with me not being around them. I called my mom, feeling sad. She didn't sound sad at all. She asked me which letter was better. My parents were competing each other which letter would be more moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 382

You deserved it 2 424

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 436

You deserved it 2 729