Wanker and Intimacy: Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have...

By polimeros - 09/05/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Queretaro

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 41 836

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Same thing different taste

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 979

You deserved it 3 559

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 6 908

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 077

You deserved it 4 730

By TomPom - 25/11/2008 06:54 - France

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 311

You deserved it 37 589

Can't win

By Anonymous - 24/09/2019 22:00

Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 161

You deserved it 363

By Anonymous - 18/03/2011 16:14 - Netherlands

Today, I was worried about passing an exam, so I hid a note under my skirt. When the guy next to me was finished, I had to get up so he could leave. With no time to hide the note, I stood in front of the entire class, hand over my crotch, looking as if I had to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 658

You deserved it 71 684

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 892

You deserved it 4 114

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 634

You deserved it 43 511

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 117

biggestfan23 11

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:42

I think you may have a problem...

PvtParts417 15

Thursday 10 May 2012 0:43

Dude not at school! Control yourself

Comments

emmaweeee 0

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:07

At least you didn't participate in the actual reproduction, that would've been an interesting breed of frog species

coldashell 23

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:52

Did you not watch beerfest? If not, in the beginning of the movie the geeky dude makes a batch of monkey frogs or something repulsive.

Sean_got_racks 3

Thursday 10 May 2012 4:02

Hi emm ur cute:) k byee

gracehi 31

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:07

I masturbated at boot camp once. Then again, it wasn't because I was turned on by frogs.

CaramelMacchiato 13

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:15

I'm kind of afraid to ask what turned you on..

gracehi 31

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:39

Nothing unusual. There are some sexy men at boot camp.

esines 9

Friday 11 May 2012 4:19

Dammit now I have to o **********...

Acaprice14 9

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:11

The king and the frogette.

likeAwesome 3

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:11

Frogs... really? Guess someone's got a frog fetish...

DailyTrollSlayer 4

Thursday 10 May 2012 3:43

That's my phone wallpaper!!

general58 2

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:14

at school? really?

Gothicbunnyx3 16

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:15

That is absolutely hilarious. Forever alone..

torch433 1

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:15

you hav a problem bro…needa take care of that

gracehi 31

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:55

I think he already did "take care of it." ;)

torch433 1

Thursday 10 May 2012 5:13

haha good one

DollyDope 17

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:19

Learn some self control. God knows what you will feel compelled to do during the lesson on human reproductive systems.

phatdaddy62 23

Thursday 10 May 2012 3:58

Go **** a frog.

wtfuwt 1

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:20

So you left your frog to go make some tadpoles of your own?

KrayKrayGurl117 7

Thursday 10 May 2012 1:22

Thats not disturbing at all

KrayKrayGurl117 7

Saturday 12 May 2012 1:38

Yes, that was sarcasm

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The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 811

You deserved it 9 769

Today, I'm exhausted and sore from a long night of pulling semis out of the snow. My wife is pissed because I want to sleep, instead of be with her. Every time I drift off, she starts doing things like loudly unloading the dishwasher or standing by our bedroom door talking loudly on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 90

The Top

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 288

You deserved it 3 688

Today, I'm stuck in a ramshackle house that my aunt bought and moved everyone out to. Only one bathroom works, and she won't let us flush it because the house keeps flooding. Four people are stuck here with just one toilet filled with poop and urine, while she's been staying at a friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 954

You deserved it 1 058

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 522

You deserved it 6 156

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shouted back in unison: "We're fucking! Go away!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 081

You deserved it 8 202

Today, I was gambling on pull tabs. My friend, never much of a gambler, asked to take one. I was confused but gave one to him anyway. I got precisely $0 from them. The tab I gave to my friend was a winner. How much was it worth, you ask? Six hundred dollars. I'm very happy for him, but… seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 353

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 457

You deserved it 2 695

Same thing different taste

Can't win

Live dumping

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