Well we know now that he definitely doesn't have a PhD in common sense.

you're either book smart or common sense smart...no one gets the best of both worlds

Does he have a PhD in something useless like art?

Some people may be book smart,but that doesn't mean they are wise.

Just turn the toaster upside-down and shake it.

Doesn't take genius to know how to stick a knife in a toaster and not get shocked. Don't touch the elements which is easy to do. I suspect your dad was smart enough to understand this concept which you seem perhaps to not understand

That's because your dad is smart enough to get the toast out without electrocuting himself and that even if he did get shocked, it's not a high enough current to cause much harm. Plus, he may also be smart enough to realize that there isn't a current traveling through the toaster once the lever is released. These kinds of rules are only or dumb people.

How do you get verified on FML? Does your life have to suck that badly?

As long as the toaster isn't running when you do, you're fine. Done it before and I've never even had the tiniest of shocks

nothing wrong with doing that as long as the toaster is not in the on position while sticking the knife in. I'm sure if the man was able to achieve a PhD he could successfully navigate putting a knife into a piece of bread and removing it from the toaster without damaging the toaster.... figure it out