Miscellaneous: Make it stop!

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 899

You deserved it 11 470

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Same thing different taste

By IVOaf - 26/02/2014 20:55 - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 566

You deserved it 4 870

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 818

You deserved it 4 718

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 127

You deserved it 3 238

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 369

You deserved it 24 017

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 239

You deserved it 4 759

Accidents will happen

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 014

You deserved it 9 307

By vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 210

You deserved it 6 929

By imalwaystired - 21/01/2010 20:20 - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 399

You deserved it 7 642

By Anonymous - 14/04/2017 02:00

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 146

You deserved it 396

By ___Ruby_____ - 08/10/2018 12:00

Today, as I rushed to get my pants on, I slipped and bashed my forehead against the solid oak back board of my bed. School starts in 30 minutes and I look like I lost a boxing match horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 389

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 16:34

Yes, but I think the OP deserved it for not wearing a helmet to bed. Totally unsafe.

livlafluv100 2

Monday 25 July 2011 16:35

you should sue whoever made the furniture.

Comments

Jonesy_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:05

Hey, at least you know you're a klutz.

reyemrein 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 3:22

hate to burst your bubble but you weren't attacked... if you didn't lunge at your alarm this wouldn't have happened

maltby84 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 4:59

You fell when you were already laying down? FYL for sure

somename1223132 5

Tuesday 27 July 2010 3:28

no in 30 seconds you assalted 2 prices of furniture

livlafluv100 2

Monday 25 July 2011 16:35

you should sue whoever made the furniture.

cant_touch_this 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:06

Wow that sucks.

Bobby64 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 16:34

Yes, but I think the OP deserved it for not wearing a helmet to bed. Totally unsafe.

teotsi 28

Tuesday 22 April 2014 20:41

There's a button for that...

JP101 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:07

I call bullshit.

uhhuh_her 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:07

Damn that sucks. Your furniture obviously doesn't like you very much. :P

Jesse_Forrest 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:09

It seems like YOU were attacking the furniture and lost...

Alley_Way 0

Tuesday 4 August 2009 2:04

haha I was going to say that too xD

qwertification 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 6:04

he wasnt attacking the furniture he was wrestling it

kayC7 0

Friday 6 August 2010 7:42

You got owned by two pieces of furniture

Sweej 1

Saturday 23 July 2011 5:29

Definitely

luckyyyme 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:10

Graceful, but that is something that would happen to me. lol

schizoid_fml 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:13

pahahaha that's great. Where's a video camera when you need one. That I'd like to see made in to one of the "illustrated FMLs"

TheZephyrSon 3

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:13

#4: Things like that have happened to me before. That sucks, I'm clumsy like that too...

tozfeekum 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:14

might wanna stay in bed :)

ItsNotTheTime 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 20:17

"in 30 seconds of consciousness i was attacked by 2 pieces of furniure" haha that's an excellent line

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, on the eighth day of my diet, I met up with my study group. Everyone was snacking on junk food while I stuck to carrots. Someone put a Snickers bar on the table. "God, I want you," I thought. Turns out I was thinking out loud. The guy next to me inched his chair away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 537

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, two women came into my place of work, complaining loudly that they couldn't afford a £3 course fee because they didn't have any money to spend on themselves. They were holding large Starbucks coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 491

You deserved it 1 472

Today, my son sent me a very frank text telling me my husband is no longer welcome at his house, because, “He knows what he did, if you want to know then ask him.” This isn’t going to be good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 154

Today, date night with my boyfriend. I had my makeup done, fake lashes, etc. He was staring at me and I’m thought, "Oh, he loves how my eyes look" so I started flirting a lot, fluttering my lashes. We then took a pic and saw my lashes were falling, so I asked, ”Were they like that the whole night?” He replied, “Yeah, it looked weird.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 462

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 3 522

Today, my pasty white boyfriend told me he intended to try and grow dreadlocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 318

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 056

You deserved it 9 744