Kids: Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2015 18:11 - Australia - Perth

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 493

You deserved it 6 313

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Same thing different taste

By Ange - 15/01/2012 19:34 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 464

You deserved it 5 104

By parenting sucks - 01/07/2011 17:42 - United States

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 596

You deserved it 5 373

By Anonymous - 03/02/2012 07:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 4 357

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 450

You deserved it 1 532

By auraya1985 - 12/09/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 1 891

By Nightmare - 15/01/2013 14:41

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 063

You deserved it 4 745

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 860

You deserved it 2 519

Too realistic

By ThatLove - 05/04/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I had to explain to my housemate that the cast of "The Crown" is not the real Royal Family impersonating themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 109

Absentee

By Superdad - 22/06/2022 06:00

Today, I told my daughter her mom was busy fighting aliens, so I wouldn’t have to tell her that her mom is just a shitty, self-absorbed bitch, who doesn’t deserve kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 1 092

Shame! Shame!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2022 12:00

Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 612

whatsittoyabitch 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:10

Buy her a book. Any book.

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 18 January 2015 0:08

You mean I haven't been watching snuff films at the movie theater all my life? Well there goes my lack of moral fiber. Thanks OP, you asshole.

Comments

extremereviews 26

Sunday 18 January 2015 1:55

We can make it one...

fuckercakes 21

Sunday 18 January 2015 2:30

Well, North Korea sure acted like it was real.

StickyPickles 33

Sunday 18 January 2015 2:40

Time to try again sir

WhoDatNO 8

Sunday 18 January 2015 3:09

You can't fIx stupid

dhermz 17

Sunday 18 January 2015 4:11

Either your daughter is to young to have seen the movie or there is something wrong with her mentally.

IHeartGeo 1

Sunday 18 January 2015 4:40

behind all the crazy jokes, most of it was pretty accurate though.

danimal_crackerz 26

Sunday 18 January 2015 4:50

Oh the humanity..

helloboyzder 13

Sunday 18 January 2015 5:17

You can't fix stupid, sorry OP.

WH1T3B0YH4ZSW4G 9

Sunday 18 January 2015 5:56

James Franco and Seth rogen are not goofy the are hilarious there is a difference

jackroarrr 25

Sunday 18 January 2015 5:59

Perhaps instead of paying for your "teenage" daughter to watch movies you should buy her a few books.

Keywords

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Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 81

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

Today, I put my notice in at work after being one of the top performers in my department. They didn’t even acknowledge my notice, they just sent me boxes to return my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 174

Today, I got popcorn when getting groceries. I was excited to see popcorn butter spray on sale and decided to try it. Excited, I made some popcorn while I went to use the can. Butter sprayed like an aerosol can all over my desk and floor. Now, my apartment smells like a movie theater and there's butter EVERYWHERE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 402

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 020

You deserved it 3 224

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 428

Today, it's been two weeks since I honked, screamed, and cussed at a cyclist on the road. Since then, my car has been keyed, my tires have been slashed, bricks have been thrown at my windows, and my number has been put on Craigslist as a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 465

You deserved it 5 969

Same thing different taste

Too realistic

Absentee

Shame! Shame!

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