Love: Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened...

By anonymous - 15/06/2011 18:00 - Canada

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 067

You deserved it 12 790

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

So happy together…

By Anonymous - 30/06/2022 22:00

Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 149

Painful

By stupid drunk bitch - 24/02/2016 18:37 - United States - Cobleskill

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 535

You deserved it 5 504

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 672

You deserved it 4 572

By lovesucks - 01/09/2009 12:52 - Australia

Today, I finally got the courage to go up and ask out the girl I have loved for a couple of months now. After she said yes, I was over the moon and ran home to tell my roommate. The next day, I saw her making out with another man. When I confronted her, she said "Oh, you were serious yesterday?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 105

You deserved it 4 249

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 070

You deserved it 49 569

By bad day Brutus - 29/04/2013 05:26 - United States

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 055

You deserved it 64 685

Who'll tell him?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 12:00 - Japan

Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 815

By BrokenHearted - 04/07/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 931

You deserved it 5 831

Not such a happy ending

By JustJared - 15/09/2021 05:00

Today, I get to see my best friend and love of my life of two years marry the man she loves. Back then, I lied and told her I was gay to avoid her finding out my feelings for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 2 013

mylifesucks305 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:07

ur a brave kid and a good friend

YOREALLY 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:07

Aw thts really sweet how you kept ur promise (:

Comments

fthislyfe 22

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:18

i wish there were more guys like you in this world

condom101 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:19

it's not really cheating if she did it on accident so u missed ur chance bro

slickrasta 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:19

Should have banged her brains out!

im_awsome 2

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:19

I have a lot of respect for yu. not everyone can be this brave.

im_awsome 2

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:21

but remember the real yu comes out when yur drunk, so yu still might have a chance with this girl

guckylynn 19

Thursday 16 June 2011 2:48

Why don't you just include the o's????

tucansam555 3

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:20

you're a good person for doing that though

fthislyfe 22

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:20

i wish there were more guys like you in this world

grass_hopperr 1

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:21

obnum 19

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:21

well good for you for doing the right thing :)

crazypanda19 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:23

You are such a sweet guy! I love you for doing the right thing :)

JokerJohn7 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 0:24

tell her, maybe she'll tell you how she really feels ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 974

You deserved it 10 760

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 549

You deserved it 7 856

The Top

Today, I discovered that my dishwasher has a filter. I cleaned out food from it that has never been in my kitchen since I moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 350

Today, my daughter would rather make payments on a payment plan for a $2000 Gucci purse, yet she refuses to move out and get a place on her own, or chip in for rent. She’s 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 1 149

Today, I was having motorbike lessons. We were parked by the side of the circuit when one side of my gloves dropped on the ground. I tried to pick it up without getting off the bike. I lost balance, fell off the bike and the bike landed on my leg, trapping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 1 232

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 604

You deserved it 3 607

Today, I've counted the unanswered 29 emails and 91 calls I've made to the university. The accountant at my company submitted the wrong reference number when doing the payment to the university, and now I cannot register for the course. Every time I get a response, I'm asked for info already provided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 86

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 3 993

Same thing different taste

So happy together…

Painful

Tori Amos?

Who'll tell him?

Not such a happy ending

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