Miscellaneous: Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential...

By StromyG2 - 24/10/2011 14:54 - United States

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 3 272

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 133

You deserved it 5 088

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 200

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 777

You deserved it 3 317

By Anonymous - 29/03/2012 16:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 729

You deserved it 2 948

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 2 545

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 04/09/2022 17:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 490

You deserved it 1 512

By oh gee, you don't say - 15/12/2012 18:43 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 4 662

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 033

You deserved it 3 670

Classlfied 4

Monday 24 October 2011 19:00

Move out

CopeStraight 3

Monday 24 October 2011 19:01

Rule 1: don't take candy from the creepy dude down the street

Comments

Tsitsicharb 1

Sunday 30 October 2011 13:19

Omg my dad does the exact same thing and i'm 28 too!!! He still tells me when i should wear my jacket! Lol

JakeTha_A01 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 6:17

He just loves ya!!!! lol

StromyG2 10

Thursday 10 November 2011 19:56

Easter: Don't trust a man/woman wearing a bunny suit, no matter how harmless they seem. Their intention could be to harm you. The oblivious victim is an easy target. Columbus day is not a real holiday in my family.

Chelsealynn93 7

Monday 5 December 2011 22:02

my dad does that too!!! im only 18 but i havent lived with my dad since i was like 9.

l0vech33r 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 7:18

Maybe you shouldn't be living at home at age 28

doglover100 28

Friday 6 July 2012 7:07

I want to know what the dangers are for Easter and Valentine's day.

umpire28 0

Wednesday 12 September 2012 18:52

If it is the same speech for a different holiday by now you should be able to recite his speech word for word

dhooks111490 8

Wednesday 17 October 2012 15:43

Sounds like a Jehovah's Witness.

ironfist32 2

Wednesday 18 December 2013 21:19

you are 28 and you still go trick or treating you deserve it

CrazyLaughs4Me 17

Wednesday 18 June 2014 17:10

First of all move out! Second get a life! Third why the ffück are you with your parents on Halloween? especially at that age. If you're still living with your parents, obviously you can't be out on your own so it's okay for Daddy to give you a few helpful words. YDI