Miscellaneous: Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential...

By StromyG2 - 24/10/2011 14:54 - United States

Today I had to listen to my father lecture me on all the potential dangers of Halloween. He has a speech for every holiday, every year. I'm 28 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 041

You deserved it 3 272

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 133

You deserved it 5 088

By Anonymous - 20/02/2019 04:00

Today, I was driving my dad, who recently turned 50, to the store and had to listen to him go on and on that he’s having to accept that, as my siblings and I get older and are more independent, he’s having to transition from "sex god to just a dad." I don't know either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 200

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 255

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 777

You deserved it 3 317

By Anonymous - 29/03/2012 16:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 729

You deserved it 2 948

By anonymous - 22/09/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 2 545

The R-word

By How old am I again? - 04/09/2022 17:30 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mother painstakingly spell out to me why broken glass is extremely dangerous. Feeling insulted, I jokingly asked her if she thought I was "retarded". I then got yelled at for "swearing." I'm a fucking adult, but my overprotective and condescending mother seems to think otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 495

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 04:31 - United States - Havertown

Today, my dad had fun embarrassing me as much as possible in my parent-teacher conference by moaning whenever the teacher talked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 490

You deserved it 1 512

By oh gee, you don't say - 15/12/2012 18:43 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 4 662

By fuck me - 28/11/2013 19:13 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 033

You deserved it 3 670

Classlfied 4

Monday 24 October 2011 19:00

Move out

CopeStraight 3

Monday 24 October 2011 19:01

Rule 1: don't take candy from the creepy dude down the street

Comments

Revell13 2

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:51

Move the **** out o home freeloader

nini94707 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 7:42

Never be too careful.... Happy Halloween!

j_cat187 19

Tuesday 25 October 2011 8:30

So did you go candy flipping?

CooperDelton 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 9:10

I find it a joke that u still live with ur parents. Go to college, get a job and move out.

chilla4m3 6

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:07

Who says she still lives at home?

granolabutt8 7

Friday 28 October 2011 9:09

May I introduce you to the current state of the US economy? Also, people can still communicate with their parents without living with them.

imperialtl 12

Tuesday 25 October 2011 14:18

Why are you still at home dude?

alexwarfield333 1

Tuesday 25 October 2011 16:06

Get out of that damn house! Stick it to the man!

Jasonf6 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:59

Does he walk around thumping people with his bible?

lvl19virgin 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 19:19

You deserve it for leaving your house

FreshMaker44 0

Friday 28 October 2011 13:33

Parents never stop being parents.

briester30895 0

Saturday 29 October 2011 15:04

Lmfao!!!!!

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The Top

Today, I got a concussion when banging my head. I got extremely nauseous and nearly passed out. The emergency doctor gave me anti-nausea pills. The top three side effects are headache, dizziness and drowsiness. I have no idea if they're working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 143

Today, after realizing just how stressful my week is going to be, I gave my girlfriend a massage, hoping for some stress relieving sex. I rubbed her for 30 minutes, then she said that she didn't feel "connected" with me and went to sleep. Isn't the point of sex to connect? FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 1 545

The Top

Today, after being unemployed for almost two years, I was turned down for yet another job. The reason this time? I live too far from the job. I can see the building from my bedroom window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 526

You deserved it 4 610

Today, my wife is leaving me for the guy she told me not to worry about, who is also her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 117

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 696

You deserved it 6 041

Today, I had my wedding at 11 a.m. so that I could spend a lot of time with my friends and family. Everyone left within 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 140

You deserved it 1 990

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 621

You deserved it 3 901

Today, I found out that when I go on Medicare in January, one of my medicines will go from $45 per month to $3000 for the first month, then $425 per month for the rest of the year. I need this medicine to stay alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 480

You deserved it 354

Same thing different taste

The R-word

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