Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to... - FML

By oxjessiiox - 11/10/2009 15:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 177

You deserved it 29 819

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 27/11/2015 15:28 - United States - Jamestown

Today, I was in a play and had a battle scene. I got a little too into it and wound up twisting my ankle. The audience was treated to me screaming like a little girl before face-planting the stage a moment later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 437

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 01:00 - Netherlands - Zwijndrecht

Today, I was rehearsing for a school play. My drama teacher keeps criticising the part where I fake-trip, saying I make it look terribly fake. During today's rehearsal, I actually tripped for real, and smashed my kneecaps against the floor with a scream. He still said my "acting" sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 513

You deserved it 2 912

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 739

You deserved it 93 545

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 128

By Nurse - 31/08/2018 15:00

Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 753

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 919

By gassy - 29/12/2012 09:32 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 498

You deserved it 4 634

Theater kid

By juliet - 06/04/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 247

You deserved it 6 302

By superman_not - 10/06/2009 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to play the role of Superman in a production on stage. They had to stuff my underwear because my 'thing' wasn't big enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 868

You deserved it 7 361

Inappropriate Billy Joel

By Anonymous - 18/04/2016 19:28 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I performed a piano piece at a school play. Everything went well until I got up and accidentally smashed my shin against one of the piano legs. Before I could bite my tongue, I'd already yelled "Fucking hell!" in front of about 50 second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 794

You deserved it 5 177

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Top comments

Sweny 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Fyl,shit happens :P

YDIxLol 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 20:17

Ouch, that sucks... But it's a little funny. :)

Comments

LeenaLingh 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 21:57

lol xD i thought u gave out a big fart

Nakedsquirrel 5

Sunday 11 October 2009 21:58

Why the hell would you actually push and put that strain on yourself instead of just making a pained face? ******** yourself onstage, however disgusting, was the least of your worries as you could have caused actual physical damage. ******* idiot. YDI.

practical_0124 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:08

omigawd, I'm having a baby! Oh, wait, never mind.

HeyMonday_fml 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:22

ouch; lol thats not cool

samanthatsoi 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:23

Ouchhhhh. lol That made my day.

QuentinM95 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:23

A funny FML! this is truly extraordinary!

aaaaa2p 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:26

Fifty-eighth!

FarSide 22

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:26

Big deal. I deliver an 8 lb bundle of joy every morning.

Enjoi666 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:43

Lolz

the_stereotype 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 22:44

FMLs like these are why I come to this website

Exiro2 0

Sunday 11 October 2009 23:28

I second that.

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The Top

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Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

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You deserved it 269

The Top

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 304

You deserved it 4 074

Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 258

You deserved it 770

Today, I collected a package from a handsome UPS guy. We exchanged smiles, and he even noticeably checked me out. I was feeling really confident for the first time in a while. Then I went inside and saw that I had two huge breastmilk spots on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 595

You deserved it 7 927

Today, I found out my husband of one year has been renting his old batchelor's apartment in secret, because he is unsure if he wants to stay married to me, and we are broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 109

Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 657

You deserved it 1 584

Today, I was headbanging so hard to a song in the shower that I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion. I'm now in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 2 174