Embarrassing and Health: Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing...

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By Embarrassed - 01/10/2010 13:06 - United States

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 505

You deserved it 6 100

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Same thing different taste

Shyness alert

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 065

You deserved it 7 202

By BoogieCandy. - 23/10/2009 08:56 - Canada

Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 437

You deserved it 8 589

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 139

Bless you

By Achoo - 31/01/2023 02:30

Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 193

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 144

Not now, dude!

By sammy - 26/03/2020 04:59 - Australia

Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 544

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 20:13 - France

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 330

You deserved it 7 578

Hott

By hotheadslav - 21/06/2015 01:59 - United States - Warsaw

Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 4 507

Hold the line

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was at a restaurant for a quite important business lunch. I really had to go to the bathroom, but there was a queue to the only stall in the whole place, so I decided to just "hold it" and power through. Half an hour later, I sneezed and… didn’t exactly hold it in anymore. I had to excuse myself and leave the restaurant early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 267

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 373

You deserved it 8 114

Ourstory 3

Friday 1 October 2010 19:05

win!!

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 1 October 2010 19:15

Surprise butt sex?

Comments

mylyfzeffedup 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:16

and that's the most action you've had in your life...dweeb.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 1 October 2010 19:25

How do you know this? It doesn't even say whether OP is a male or a female, and it doesn't say anything else about their life. Stop making assumptions with no proof.

ktbird 0

Friday 1 October 2010 20:07

chill 18 it's a joke

sYmhaHa 0

Friday 1 October 2010 23:01

#18 Assumptions and opinions are what make life fun. Get over it...

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 2 October 2010 3:16

47/86 - Not always. Though, there's no need to become bitter. Allow the difference in opinion, maybe? I am "chill". You guys aren't.

hahaalolz 0

Saturday 2 October 2010 14:49

#18, ur telling everyone else not to be bitter, when ur the one who got all Nazi on their ass for making assumptions and having opinions, hippocrit mucch? wtf

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 2 October 2010 20:19

I wasn't bitter. I was telling them not to make assumptions with no grounds. If you would like to see bitter, I can point it out to you. An assumption isn't an opinion, and the word is spelled 'hypocrite'.

perdix 29

Friday 1 October 2010 19:17

Did you get her number? If there's a word for the activity described by a blumpkin, surely there has to be a word for what you just did.

TheShay 0

Friday 1 October 2010 20:10

perdix strikes again :D

michael11891 0

Friday 1 October 2010 19:22

brown noser

natvv 0

Friday 1 October 2010 20:18

I love you.

mintcar 9

Friday 1 October 2010 19:23

That's pretty gross.

skorpien 1

Friday 1 October 2010 19:24

Hah! I've heard of blowing smoke up someone's ass, but never this :P

rottentomatoes 7

Friday 1 October 2010 19:27

haha, that is funneh :D

5t3ff1k4h 44

Friday 1 October 2010 19:29

How do you know the OP is a male?

Autoshot 9

Friday 1 October 2010 19:32

YDI. Turning your dirty face to the side and blasting out a sneeze is unacceptable. Learn to cover your nasty face when you sneeze as opposed to spitting all over the place to the left. Slob.