Miscellaneous: Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to...

By xXx3mi_MuffinxXx - 01/07/2011 19:23 - United States

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 760

You deserved it 3 213

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Same thing different taste

By nightfall8705 - 17/08/2017 19:30 - United States - Walhalla

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 369

You deserved it 1 159

By noworkformeplease - 09/03/2017 16:00

Today, I had to call out of work because I was ill, but they didn't believe me because today was the day I was supposed to come back from vacation. Now I'm stuck at work, constantly running to the bathroom, and they still won't let me go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 266

You deserved it 381

By Mark - 27/02/2015 18:24 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I was feeling terrible so I called in sick to work. My boss refused to believe me and told me he'd fire me if I didn't come in. I dragged myself to work, only to spend most of the day glued to the toilet. Now he says I won't be paid for the day because I barely did any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 2 720

Dirty mind

By Anonymous - 25/06/2012 15:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 784

You deserved it 2 960

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 482

You deserved it 3 410

By yolo is for shitheads - 09/10/2012 16:07 - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 440

You deserved it 2 168

Manage this

By fuck this company - 14/06/2021 07:01 - United States

Today, the same manager who wrote me up for missing work when my mom had had a stroke, thought it was perfectly acceptable to announce she was leaving work 6 hours early to take her dogs to the groomers. Apparently, that appointment was more urgent than me riding in an ambulance with my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 74

By ohhhjaymo13 - 05/02/2011 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 3 376

By TheHeirofTime - 15/08/2016 15:11 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 256

You deserved it 1 735

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 18:00

Today, my best friend promised me that she'd be there after a rough night the night before. Hours later, I did some digging and found out that she went ahead and called another group of friends behind my back, and then told me to stop being a baby when I figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 185

alissa222 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:22

invite her to join you.

jamila123 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:21

at least you have a job.

Comments

IIIiIII16 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:29

send her a pic.

Insane_Tea 15

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:39

Dogs have anal glands?

Das_Judenburg 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:43

Yeah, friends just don't understand how good those taste.

RyanMacVey 17

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:45

you blow off your friend to clean a dogs ass? woah... you must really hate her

RyanMacVey 17

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:54

... aye most people arent like you boners

hayleyydean 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:22

gayboii youu can't be gay you're toooo cute :]

RyanMacVey 17

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:24

haha im not... and really? (:

RyanMacVey 17

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:37

ohh cheers mate... ima need to re-think my pick-up line then :/

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 3:43

I don't understand you gayboii. You say your not gay but then that's your username. You are the master at confusing me:)

Salvikidd 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 5:30

90- gay also means happy

coffeeandcream 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:51

maaaan, that sucks............

intensity24 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:25

what's your facebook? read your FML's and your funny and cute haha

lmaoatall 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:53

we plan on selling it as a after market item at the ***** factory.

textwork 4

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:54

is that normal for your job?

Das_Judenburg 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 1:56

Boners, explain to me what is going on in your profile picture..

plebeianFelix 5

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:00

I wouldn't believe you either.

sheethapins 13

Saturday 2 July 2011 2:00

Sadly, I know this awkwardness. I used to be a dog bather. It's a shitty job.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 607

You deserved it 14 342

Today, I told my dad that failing to kill yourself must be really awful, because you think you’ve failed your life and then you even fail your death. My dad who, as I recalled when he shot me a sour look, tried to commit suicide during his youth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 2 501

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 611

You deserved it 32 754

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 943

You deserved it 3 188

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 400

You deserved it 34 158

Today, my neighbour across the street has entered his ninth consecutive hour of playing Limp Bizkit at full blast. The only thing overriding my concern for his mental health is my sheer surprise that they have 9 hours of original music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 101

Same thing different taste

Dirty mind

Manage this

With friends like these…

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