Animals: Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking...

By patient_mom - 14/06/2015 01:27 - Australia - Surrey Hills

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 073

You deserved it 3 980

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 01:34 - United States - West Chester

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 425

You deserved it 4 370

By crazydaughter - 12/04/2012 12:51 - Egypt

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to blow-dry the sweat off her armpits instead of showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 850

You deserved it 3 277

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 01:56 - United States - Ithaca

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 861

You deserved it 2 144

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 554

You deserved it 2 600

By KieRendan - 25/05/2012 19:59 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 880

You deserved it 3 519

By I hate nasty people - 05/04/2012 16:18 - United States - South Bend

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 842

You deserved it 2 178

To show you my love

By Anonymous - 18/09/2023 23:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, after waiting 3 weeks so she wouldn't be too stressed after being shipped, I was finally able to handle my snake for the first time. As I went to pick her up, I noticed she's about to shed and so is temporarily super stressed by any movement nearby, let alone contact. Here's to another week of waiting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 590

By Waitingtomoveout - 12/01/2017 17:09

Today, I had to remove my brother's pubic hairs from the bathtub before bathing my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 414

You deserved it 783

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 17:51 - Canada

Today, I was shopping in a store and an employee was mopping the floor. She mopped all around where I was standing then told me to wait until the floor dried to move. I had to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 565

You deserved it 6 441

Sneaky boy

By anonymous - 15/12/2015 06:00 - United States - Huffman

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 994

You deserved it 3 878

rnarshmallow 21

Sunday 14 June 2015 11:37

A clean python is a happy python! It's good to see your daughter has taught her pet about hygiene.

littleking94 14

Sunday 14 June 2015 11:43

Yeah I don't think I would argue with the python either.

Comments

S_Gnu 17

Monday 15 June 2015 5:41

****** bogans

Pyneapple 19

Monday 15 June 2015 6:06

Don't **** wit no Python bruh

Sergei_Borodov 0

Monday 15 June 2015 14:40

You don't HAVE to take a shower everyday.

nhaba1214 19

Monday 15 June 2015 18:42

Lol I wish my mum would let me have one. :p

S_Gnu 17

Monday 15 June 2015 21:40

****** bogans

thefmlman2011 36

Tuesday 16 June 2015 3:29

Was the snake named Monty?

shadowshalf 8

Tuesday 16 June 2015 4:47

bathe with it

Dictionaryspeaks 18

Wednesday 17 June 2015 14:49

Should have took that 2nd job..

Barbigood 4

Friday 19 June 2015 6:40

Sorry but you deserve it for not putting your foot down.... Grow a pair

tiredofwaiting 25

Tuesday 4 August 2015 8:23

I wish I was allowed to get a ball python.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

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Today, I tried to talk to my teenage son about healthy masculinity. He said, "Yeah Mom, I know. Lift weights and eat red meat and fish. Can I go?" Not what I meant at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 358

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 975

You deserved it 10 760

The Top

Today, my roommate came in, slamming the front door. I guess he doesn't know that you can't throw hot water on frozen windows. He came up all pissed and called his insurance because he'd cracked the windshield. We have the same car, in the same exact color. Turns out he threw the water on mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 957

You deserved it 3 094

Today, I'm broker than ever. I work a full time job but I STILL can't afford basic adult necessities. My mom keeps asking me to pay a bill that I can't afford (and has nothing to do with her) but she's been opening my mail, and questions my unpaid bills. I'm 36 and I can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 242

Today, my friend and I went to see our favorite band in concert. We walked at least a mile from our parking space and stood in line for two hours. My friend was supposed to have the tickets in her purse. She actually had, but she left her purse in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 764

You deserved it 5 127

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 153

You deserved it 5 060

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 338

You deserved it 8 227

Today, I told my mom she made me feel unloved my whole life. She called my sister and apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 81

Same thing different taste

To show you my love

Sneaky boy

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