Health: Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some... - FML

By Nixontones - 14/10/2011 15:09 - United States

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 061

You deserved it 2 521

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Same thing different taste

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 605

You deserved it 4 359

Inconvenienced

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Dover

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 85

Panic!

By Bleach dat Blood - 20/07/2015 03:02

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 3 813

Tis the season to be jolly

By littl3storm - 23/12/2020 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, at the ripe age of 20, I spent the early hours of my morning violently vomiting blood every time I got too warm. I then had the pleasure of shitting in a plastic container for a stool sample, due to said problem, after one and half hours of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 86

By nosey - 08/04/2013 19:20 - United Kingdom - Mountain Ash

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 40 132

Clogged

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 00:00

Today, I ended up in the hospital for the fourth time since beginning of January due to kidney stones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 112

Apocalypse Now

By dacara6415 - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a kidney infection; the symptoms include nausea and having to pee every five minutes. I had to walk six miles in the pouring rain to pick up the medication, peed in the woods twice, got honked at while throwing up on the road, and my boyfriend told me not to complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I have a UTI. After taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side-effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 218

You deserved it 4 562

High tension

By Discipl - 28/10/2014 03:00 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 110

You deserved it 5 958

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 365

You deserved it 7 313

Next

Top comments

awagh666 14

Friday 14 October 2011 18:52

Hope you are posting this from a hospital bed. Get well soon.

alliewillie 22

Friday 14 October 2011 18:54

Might wanna get that checked out...

Comments

aceman1992 9

Saturday 15 October 2011 0:29

Haha ^^^

MaryPoppins88 14

Saturday 15 October 2011 1:01

Um hospital?

darkmis1 17

Saturday 15 October 2011 1:01

You might wanna go to the hospital for that.

tylenol123 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 1:55

If this happened to me i would contact a doctor... Not FMLing it...

_chrisbluee 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:05

get help!

AmazingLadyy13 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:12

Please go to the doctor!

joemartin4214 4

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:29

Haha. Awesome. My sentiments exactly.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:29

Is your name Link, by any chance? "If you do that ONE more time, I will kick you in the kidneys until you pee blood, then I'll stick your face in it and make you drink it!" Adamwestslapdog, I had to.

Plecofish 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 2:53

Get well soon

ymcmb312 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 3:26

Haha nixxxon ftw! But bro get that checked ASAP!!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 365

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

The Top

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 223

You deserved it 6 036

Today, I tripped while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reached out and grabbed onto one of the guys walking up. I ended up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgusted glares as I dusted myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 314

You deserved it 8 038

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 545

You deserved it 3 629

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 097

You deserved it 1 653

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 4 243

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 818

You deserved it 30 753