Intimacy: Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are...

By movingout - 26/01/2013 23:50 - Australia - Ringwood

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 5 310

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Same thing different taste

Twit to who

By Hooty - 02/09/2015 21:52 - United States - Groveton

Today, I had yet another debilitating migraine that kept me awake. In the middle of the night, I heard an owl hooting. Thinking it was cool, I moved closer to the open window to hear better. After a few minutes, I realized it was actually my new neighbor having loud sex. My aunt moved in next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 463

You deserved it 2 346

By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 208

You deserved it 3 240

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 102

You deserved it 2 484

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 3 323

By Moanie - 15/03/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 368

You deserved it 29 517

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 194

You deserved it 6 470

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 376

You deserved it 41 855

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 818

You deserved it 6 576

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

Barhinder 9

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:23

You could say she was having a hoot.

Pleonasm 35

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:41

Did you know "too hot to hoot" is a palindrome- you can say it backwards and it reads the same way.

Comments

Teyros 24

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:27

I guess it's better to know she isn't a cougar? :P

upsidedownfrownn 5

Tuesday 29 January 2013 4:17

I got it... And found it to be clever

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:28

I guess it was no letter from Hogwarts then :)

oj101 33

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:37

Owl be devastated if I didn't get one too.

Tezoma 28

Sunday 27 January 2013 17:30

Don't worry, 51. I won't talon you for using the same exact pun as 21. HoNk.

oj101 33

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:28

She must be having one owl of a time.

outoftown 26

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:30

See what happens when moms roleplay? Out come the blindfolds, and she's crying "Who?? Who??"

Imhere4fml 24

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:31

"WHO likes it ruff? WHO? WHO?" That is probably what your mother might have been saying...

Imhere4fml 24

Sunday 27 January 2013 10:58

Never saw it, idk if I want to...

JJ_Rokk 10

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:37

Awkward Winnie The Pooh flashbacks...

skyeyez9 24

Sunday 27 January 2013 18:06

Pooh says "whoooo hoooo hoooo!" When he's really happy or excited. Or Maybe tigger said it? I know one of them did.

mandachea10 8

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:44

Don't feel bad, it's the mating call she uses for wohooing your father into bed with her (horrible joke? The h is silent). Feh, i tried.

DyslexicPanda 12

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:45

His father's body was discovered later that day

GAUZE 5

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:47

I have the opposite problem. There is an owl by my house that sounds like a woman faking it. Badly.

Ihaveonefriend 7

Sunday 27 January 2013 9:52

Notice, you got excited over an owl. By that I'm surprised you know what sex sounds like.

SoSickWithIt 14

Sunday 27 January 2013 10:29

Notice, your ability to judge people on extremely small things, is probably the reason why your username is, "Ihaveonefriend". But sadly no, Jill, aka Palmela Handerson is not real. So you have zero.