Animals: Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was...

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 4 342

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 245

You deserved it 4 155

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 5 080

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 175

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 347

You deserved it 4 332

Ilovelife07 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:09

best username

riplikethat 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:05

"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.

Comments

canucksrule88 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:53

NASTY!!

theDAVIS 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:08

this is almost an exact replica of the fml i submitted earlier today which was turned down....wtf

sublime93 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:34

Someone probably saw it, it got denied because something was wrong with it, the person corrected it and submitted it as their own. Bitches do that.

TocItalia 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:34

oh Really? because this actually happened to me this morning. I had to clean up all that shit before work and then shower and throw my clothes away.

theDAVIS 0

Friday 18 September 2009 23:22

ya its an exact replica except she added her dad in it, **** my life people are copying my fml

cucumberfabulous 7

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:52

But when you submit an FML doesn't it take more than a day to go through the voting process ?? Dunnnnoooo......

xXlifesucksmtime 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:15

i find that highly discusting

bobby222 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:27

YDI for being jewish.

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 22:08

Same here, #36. Hey, #28, fail troll is fail.

ElliexMarie 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:31

Oh , grossss. Thanks. Now I know never to go on FML while eating a brownie.

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 21:33

Hahaha. When guys compete, I win. mistercoffee...your move. plexico has offered the sought after teabagging privilege.

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 21:36

Reminds me of the time I spent the night at my friend's house. =/

plexico 3

Friday 18 September 2009 21:42

Are you saying that the future of the eugenically-designed race of master jesters comes down to a ******* LendingTree.com commercial?

Intoxicunt 5

Friday 18 September 2009 21:53

Yes. And no. I'm glad you got the reference, though. Don't worry, I'm going to have your babies no matter who else wants in. The future of the online jesters is safe. Your butt hole, on the other hand...