Animals: Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was...

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 4 342

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 104

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 095

You deserved it 3 061

By typical - 13/04/2013 23:49 - United States - Cheshire

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 245

You deserved it 4 155

Another fine mess

By wow - 16/05/2019 00:05

Today, I was walking my dog when he did his business. He then stepped all in it and coated his paws. As I was struggling with him, I slipped and landed butt-first into his steaming pile. My boyfriend nearly fainted from laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 341

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 5 080

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 175

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

Hurting over here

By wo-ow - 06/06/2014 23:09 - United States - Bronx

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 347

You deserved it 4 332

Ilovelife07 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:09

best username

riplikethat 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:05

"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.

Comments

burrito1 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:07

lol

turtlebots 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:25

Yo poop, I know you be slippin' in poop, and i'ma let you finish, but MY DOG JUST HAD THE BEST POOP OF ALL TIME. THE BEST POOP OF ALL TIME!

Ohnothingreally 0

Friday 18 September 2009 21:06

Lol Kanye West. But that's just nasty. Ew. D:

2345_fml 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:35

This Kanye West crap needs to stop. Why is everyone changing every subject into what he said?

stardustskye 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:41

because it's funny??

muchocaliente 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:21

hey guess what! You're first. But I'm first to be sexy. YDI for being a ****.

ladiidaa 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 0:29

Because people like to make old memes older and unfunny.

turtlebots 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 2:48

YO 2345, I KNOW U HATIN ON KANYE AND IMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT I AM GOD AND MY WORDS ARE GOLD!!

dnlphm94 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 0:54

@#60: What are you talking about?

DangerousBabee 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 0:26

Lol i actaully laughed at this one xD

soccerfreak878 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 11:22

Wouldnt u?

Ilovelife07 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:09

best username

pancakes_n_syrup 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:04

I was thinking that too! ha I saw her name and thought, wow, love the username over the FML :)

BakerMan_fml 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 11:22

I agree

tingting1 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:09

so i'm guessing you slipped IN it? that's nasty .... :

riplikethat 0

Friday 18 September 2009 22:05

"I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned... blah blah blah" No shit.

Shmeagle 0

Thursday 6 January 2011 5:56

Slip n' Slide style!

horsestarz 7

Monday 31 October 2011 21:07

No pun intended?

ElizabethNL93 20

Saturday 2 November 2013 4:32

3, what was your first clue?

_jdreaming 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:10

gnr! that is freakin' hilarious!

blondbrunette916 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:10

wow. hopefully it didnt get in ur mouth, nose ears, hear...etc. :o

happyvalleygirl 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:10

massive quantity of diarrhea... bad image did you fall when you slipped?

chlorinegreen 27

Thursday 16 June 2011 23:45

did you not see that he said he slipped AND slid? that means he slip'n slide styled it!

_jdreaming 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:12

I'm sorry but #6 what kind of question is that? Of course he fell when he slipped. smh

Vball6 19

Thursday 20 September 2012 21:37

You could slip without falling.

plexico 3

Friday 18 September 2009 20:17

Some people think it's funny But it's really hot and runny Diarrhea. In this case, it's all of the above!

f_my_flip_life 5

Friday 18 September 2009 20:18

LOL!!! I could totally picture this.

caancoha 0

Friday 18 September 2009 20:21

When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter...

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

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Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 726

You deserved it 53 083

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 890

You deserved it 499

Today, while driving on the streets for the first time, my mom decided that it would be an appropriate time to yell at me for every single mistake I’ve ever made in my life. This stressed me out so much I began driving against traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 164

Today, I was washing my car, and I decided to be kind and to wash my elderly neighbor's car. As it turns out, her sunroof was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 700

You deserved it 12 548

Today, I dressed in my sexiest clothes to meet my new boyfriend at a restaurant. As I was a bit early, I took the opportunity to smoke a cigarette outside while I waited. The restaurant owner came out and said, "Hey, you. Go and 'work' somewhere else, please." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 518

You deserved it 18 955

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 59 663

Same thing different taste

Splat!

Almost there, we're almost there…

Another fine mess

Help!

Skittish

Hurting over here

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