Miscellaneous: Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was...

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 492

You deserved it 6 181

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By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 721

You deserved it 1 824

By speechless - 01/06/2013 00:50 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 116

You deserved it 6 092

By SpongeAbii2 - 24/01/2012 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 762

You deserved it 2 979

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 169

You deserved it 2 595

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 818

You deserved it 6 812

By Anonymous - 08/05/2014 19:00 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 330

You deserved it 4 541

By anonymous - 20/06/2013 01:09 - United States - Houston

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 276

You deserved it 3 086

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 986

You deserved it 7 253

By yikes :/ - 22/05/2017 18:00

Today, the cute coworker who's been flirting with me drove me home. While I was contemplating asking him to kiss me, he politely told me to, "Please get out, I promised my girlfriend I'd pick her up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 100

You deserved it 1 071

By iceman123432 - 02/09/2009 20:07 - United States

Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 127

You deserved it 4 254

OrangeCrayon 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:20

Kinky.

pleasedonttellme 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 16:32

Omg..like half of the FML's this week are about perverted old men You wonder if it's the same guy ^.^

Comments

Qup 0

Monday 23 November 2009 7:37

that's men for you. they think with their dicks.

Emperor_Jim 0

Monday 23 November 2009 8:23

That's women for you, they make broad, offensive generalizations about half the planet's population because they've been dumped too many times. Bitches, amirite?

Ninjaface 0

Monday 23 November 2009 7:47

If you were smart you would have taken him up on his offer. Like they say, with age comes wisdom, and by "wisdom" I mean memorization of the Kama Sutra. And of course there would have been money in it for you when he "accidentally" sustained fatal head trauma during a tricky position.

woopita 0

Monday 23 November 2009 9:32

aww yee tryna get fresh! xD

blastvortex 3

Monday 23 November 2009 11:24

Awwww.... Isn't that cute? ^_^ You're so nice to your elders. (No good deed goes unpunished, huh....)

COBRAMORPH 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 23:22

wow, you are such a bitch. You know, he probly fought for you in WW1 &/or 2. The least you could do was kiss him. Honestly, I say you shoulda put his cane inside your body.