Intimacy: Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to...

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By galen - 03/06/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 035

You deserved it 27 734

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Same thing different taste

RIP Beard

By captain patch beard - 03/10/2019 18:01

Today, I met a girl at a bar, we had a few drinks and really hit it off. We headed back to my place to get a little action. As she was riding me, she got rougher and rougher until she reached down and yanked a patch of hair right out of my beard. I yelped in pain and didn’t even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 449

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 00:18 - Netherlands

Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 04/09/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 310

You deserved it 6 395

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 9 063

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 328

You deserved it 5 085

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 057

You deserved it 5 436

Get away from me

By Jinthebar - 06/05/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 154

You deserved it 7 963

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 640

You deserved it 31 369

By Walter - 24/10/2015 03:17 - Spain

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 153

You deserved it 6 259

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 908

You deserved it 4 046

kellster 2

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:05

Either she was a tranny, or you're really exaggerating. You do know that people have body hair, right? As in, the tiny, fuzzy kind? You'd probably better get over that pretty soon or you'll never have sex again.

icanhazlizard 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 16:21

I agree with 3 and 6. Hair is a natural part of being human. The girls are already expected to shave way more of their bodies than men have to be socially acceptable. I'm sick of hearing about how the hair on girls is disgusting. We shouldn't be rejected or made to go through ridiculously elaborate and time-consuming grooming routines because of it. It's *natural*. Get the **** over it.

Comments

sara942 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 17:20

YDI for the following reasons: -you picked up a random chick at a bar -you obviously have never taken a biology class and learned that humans are mammals -you let such a minor thing ruin your night #10 ftw. and for anyone saying that girls should just get laser: hey, if you wanna pay for it, then go ahead and say that!

sara942 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 17:25

#80's got a great point too: if a girl has black hair on her head, she probably doesn't have blond peach fuzz...so if you want to freak out because it's not blonde and invisible, you should probably just stick to pasty white blonde girls!

Tishawna_fml 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 17:31

Lmaoo! Thats SOO funny :P

DarkMirror 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 18:58

#41 What's this? Wait 'til he's married to hook up with random girls? o.O If it was a just a little hair, like peach fuzz, then get over it. If it looked the the floor of a Barber Shop then RUN.

xrinny 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 19:42

Well, girls do have hair.. Like men do. Why do you get to be all hairy and nasty and we get in trouble for having hair on our bodies? Jeez, if it was a lot of hair - ew that's nasty but if its only a little bit, so what?

jll1012 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 19:57

haha, careful, next time you'll be posting an FML about how you contracted Hep C from a girl at the bar. douche.

AnnerNanner 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 20:00

#27. Dude, seriously? Are you gay? I've neverrr heard a straight guy say something like that. WhatALoser. I bet you weren't so grossed out that you didn't have sex with her. If it was peach fuzz, then get over yourself. If it was more then that, then that is gross. More than likely, you're just over reacting. I feel sorry for the girl that was stupid enough to hook up with a guy that would make fun of her on the internet.