Money: Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local...

By no money anymore - 18/01/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 533

You deserved it 5 184

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2015 15:12

Today, we had a great night out with my girlfriend and even won a costume contest together. I guess I wasn't the only one who had a great night, because when I got home I found that someone had robbed my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 316

You deserved it 1 332

By Jailbird - 09/06/2017 17:00 - United States - Redmond

Today, I took a group of teens with me to hang up posters for our church's yard sale. Because it's summer, we went out at dusk to beat the heat. Someone called the cops on us, and we were arrested for "gang activity". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 277

You deserved it 569

Everyone's a critic

By not_dead_yet - 28/06/2009 07:54 - United States

Today, it was my first big time art show. To celebrate I went out to lunch with some people whose work was also there. When we got back, police were everywhere. Someone had broken in and stolen all of the art. All except mine. Even burglars don't want my art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 789

You deserved it 5 308

By Anonymous - 09/08/2011 12:55 - United States

Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 284

You deserved it 12 451

By ugh - 15/07/2013 11:46 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after my parents left for the weekend, my "friends" decided to throw a party at my house, despite my protests. In order to get them to leave, I called the police. I was the only one arrested, while they got warnings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 794

You deserved it 9 148

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 21:36 - United States

Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 982

You deserved it 3 573

By yermom - 13/12/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I was entertaining people during an extra curricular school function in order to help "brighten people's spirits in their time of need." After it was all over, I found out that my phone had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 3 101

Neighborhood watch

By TheAnnoyedNeighbor - 03/10/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 599

You deserved it 3 290

Paaaaaaarty!

By Boyufd - 16/08/2019 22:00

Today, it's my birthday. I'd planned an outside party in my backyard, and I'd invited all of my friends. Only 2 of them showed up. It also rained today, even though it wasn't supposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 16/12/2013 04:47 - United States - North Port

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 493

You deserved it 3 232

runepop 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:46

Well...did they just rob u to prove that crime is bad? Literal Example. Lol

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Wednesday 18 January 2012 8:51

How ironic

Comments

SwiftFaux 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:07

Idk why this sounds racist to me.

CheckItOutItsYou 7

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:13

Your ignorant

afulks78 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:10

Oo the irony ! :P

FirstTigerHobbes 13

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:25

That's what I said :p

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:12

Some criminals need to learn some standards.

xSonic 9

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:18

Shut up

GoW_Chick 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:26

No, you shut up.

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:40

Don't mind him. He's angry cuz he's fat, and a bird.

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:52

So much hate on FML! *sings to aelf* why can't we be friends..

yummcookie 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:57

Who is this 'aelf' and why are we signing to them?

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:59

*self, oops!

ladyLALAA 28

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:20

If only three came to the fundraiser, at least you'll be able to identify them to the police hah

d_unsub 12

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:21

lol some criminal got sense of humor hahahahaha

GoW_Chick 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:24

Apparently crime had a night out of it's own, and you're paying for it OP, next time bring pepper spray, and show them the meaning of blind justice.

fattylumptard 1

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:32

Why?

ChaosAngel17 14

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:42

I guess they got the wrong date for the "Night out with Crime party" that was planned for the next day.

yummcookie 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 9:58

If only you were Batman... Maybe Use this as motivation to become do? I'll even kill your parents.

cosmosis 12

Wednesday 18 January 2012 11:38

... Wtf?!? Really??

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 444

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

The Top

Today, I set my alarm and got up early to view the Super Blue Blood Moon. I was all wrapped up in a blanket and had a perfect view from my backyard. It’s been a truly amazing experience, made even more exciting by the sprinklers turning on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 833

You deserved it 831

Today, I noticed my ex had unblocked me on Facebook. Since I still miss her and haven't been able to find love since our breakup, I sent her a friend request, thinking maybe she was leaving the door open for me, and we could reconcile. Apparently I was wrong because she promptly blocked me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 1 673

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 148

You deserved it 5 481

Today, I looked back on my romantic history: a marriage that ended when my wife cheated on men, four girlfriends who took advantage of me, and my first girlfriend showed up for my first date after putting on stage makeup that made it look like I beat her up just before our date. "Better to have loved and lost," my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 134

Today, my mom told she was robbed once, 40+ years ago. My mom is 51, so I was wondering what kind of monster would steal from a child. I then realized after almost an entire minute that it was a joke about my uncle, named Robert, who was born at that specified time. It would seem that I've been "robbed" of a brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 285

Today, someone tried to guess my age. They guessed 45, then 39. I'm 35 and just spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to make myself look more youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 772

Same thing different taste

Everyone's a critic

Neighborhood watch

Paaaaaaarty!

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