Miscellaneous: Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my...

By pumpkinbutt - 17/01/2010 21:08 - France

Today, I hurried into the bank to cash in the $5,000 check my grandparents had given me for college money. I found out that instead of my name, they wrote 'our sweet iddle pumpkinbutt'. I couldn't make eye contact with anyone after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 131

You deserved it 4 817

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 13:46 - United States

Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 565

You deserved it 4 118

By holymoly - 05/09/2012 06:12 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 1 981

By Anonymous - 18/09/2010 05:39 - United States

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 248

You deserved it 3 381

By anon - 04/12/2009 10:35 - Australia

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 191

You deserved it 2 737

By TheFatOne - 31/08/2014 19:27 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 915

You deserved it 5 564

Vultures circling overhead

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 16:00

Today, I inherited several buttloads of money from my grandmother, including property, and by gosh did so many relatives appear from the woodwork to remind me of money granny owed them, or how they just needed an investment to kickstart their business venture. The whole lot of them can screw off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 138

By HatedGrandson - 07/01/2013 00:50 - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 652

You deserved it 2 164

Thanks, I hate it!

By JacksWag4 - 16/08/2013 22:21 - United States - Romulus

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because, "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 491

You deserved it 21 607

Epic prank bro

By Rachel - 20/07/2012 05:13 - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 946

You deserved it 3 585

By dummy - 22/05/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my grandpa took out the family for dinner and paid for everyone. He paid the bill and my family and I were waiting by the door. I realised I probably should thank him for dinner. I turn around without thinking and give him a big hug and say thanks for dinner Grandpa. It wasn't my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 44 912

Sketch_Enter 0

Monday 18 January 2010 2:24

id rather be a sweet iddle pumpkinbutt with 5000 dollars than johnathan with $0

jessxoxo28 5

Monday 18 January 2010 2:23

awww, u sweet iddle pumpkinbutt lmao!

Comments

HeatSeeker 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:16

i dont thinl u can cash it in, unless your name is on it.

ruru1991 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:17

get over it!!!!!

pwincessa23 1

Monday 18 January 2010 5:27

so where u able to cash it or did they they ask for an ID with that name and ur pic on it?!

mmhmm138 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:36

frrs

christy_xo 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:37

awh.. i call my fiance punkinbutt. ive never heard anyone else using that before!

gilly011 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:41

get over it asshole. id let them call me sweet little pumpkin too for 5grand

darkmis1 17

Monday 18 January 2010 5:47

A FML was posted a few days ago that's almost exactly like this one.

onnielief 4

Monday 18 January 2010 5:49

Since when is getting 5000 ever a FML?

Russellnieuw 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:52

I you don't like it, why is it your username? 

kemar7856 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:54

u did'nt see that before u went to the bank fake! and 5000 is not a fml

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The Top

Today, I caught my boyfriend with a prostitute. The prostitute actually got mad at me for yelling at him, because the few times he’s hired her, all he asked for was talking and cuddling, never sex. Her advice was I need to step up my emotional intimacy, because he’s clearly not getting it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 3 356

Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 373

You deserved it 37 039

The Top

Today, I had way too much to drink at a work picnic and started crying at about my ex, who cheated on me, while sitting on top of a slide at a playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 1 227

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 757

You deserved it 3 212

Today, at work, I thought I had to fart, but didn’t trust it. I squeezed cheek and hurried to the bathroom. As I was sitting down, liquid shot out of my butthole and got on the seat. I then sat in it. On top of, that I saw a spider crawl out of my underwear. The spider bothers me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 199

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 959

You deserved it 10 362

Today, while at home, I accidentally let out a big, loud fart near my dad. When he asked what the noise was, I blamed it on the cat. I remembered too late that we don't have a cat. My dad caught on quickly and grounded me for lying in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 722

Today, I told my mom I wanted to see a doctor, because I feel like I’m slipping into depression. I told her I was so sad, I didn’t shower for 4 days. Her response? “I don’t believe that. You’ve always had great hygiene!” Duh, I’m not myself lately! Thanks for noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 153

Same thing different taste

Vultures circling overhead

Thanks, I hate it!

Epic prank bro

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