Love: Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 297

By alf - 27/10/2008 02:34 - France

Today, I kissed the girl I love for the first time. Her reaction? She vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 887

You deserved it 7 259

By hamboneghost - 24/02/2015 19:02 - Canada - New Westminster

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 8 864

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 18/02/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 4 863

By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 09:51 - United States

Today, due to nervousness, I threw up while proposing to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 256

You deserved it 3 801

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 919

You deserved it 10 325

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 175

You deserved it 7 036

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 350

Poor me

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 03:00

Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 242

Next

Top comments

illmatic2 16

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:26

Too much tongue?

Crowcaller 5

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:23

yummy

Comments

andiedandie 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:29

Now that's true love.

SeanFredrick 3

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:29

Op you must really suck at kissing. Dafp! 

BoyBeyond 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:30

If I were you i would dump her. LOL seriously thats freaking nasty. I wouldnt be able to kiss her without getting that nasty taste feeling everytime after that kiss. Was she drunk?

scottiealan 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:30

dude that's just nasty was u that bad a kisser?

ChinnuWoW 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:30

lol it's like 2 girls 1 cup. but now you have to eat each others shit to make it a perfect 2 girls 1 cup.

samsam3_fml 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:31

Hahahahahhahahahahaha omg I just cried from laughing at that!

Jennifra 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:32

Gross lol. Maybe YDI for not letting her pull away?

JT_XXIII 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:35

Now that's love.

NorcalOunce 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:37

someone needs breath mints :]

Spastastic 6

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:37

...Stan and Wendy?

WhyTheFace4 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:41

win

Primus_fml 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:43

Nah it was Stan that threw up in Wendys mouth.

Spastastic 6

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:49

True, Primus, but still.

WhyTheFace4 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 1:59

I thought it was still appropriate.

Primus_fml 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 3:11

Agreed but thought I'd just throw that in there.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 029

The Top

Today, I was grocery shopping with my older sister. An elderly couple passed, and the man pointed to my sister, saying, "She LOVES to eat." My sister is 7 months pregnant, and I had to spend the next hour comforting her as she bawled her eyes out because of an off-hand comment from a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 306

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 50

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 509

You deserved it 4 501

Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 230

You deserved it 3 300

Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 199

You deserved it 27 284

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 8 261