Intimacy: Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die... - FML

By nickyy - 29/11/2009 02:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I learned it is best not to let your cordless mouse die while secretly watching porn right when your mom walks in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 481

You deserved it 31 426

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Same thing different taste

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By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 2 590

By wowthatwould - 04/12/2011 21:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 408

You deserved it 46 707

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Spicy

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 601

By Anonymous - 27/08/2014 21:50 - United States - Franklin Park

Spicy

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 403

You deserved it 43 184

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 784

You deserved it 32 355

Sneaky hand shandy

By Skylan - 13/11/2008 10:31 - France

Spicy

Today, I took advantage of the fact that my wife was sleeping to watch porn on my computer. I put headphones on so that she wouldn't hear, but It wasn't until she came out of the bedroom that I realised I hadn't plugged them in properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 797

You deserved it 58 939

By hitmutefirst - 03/02/2009 10:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 50 529

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 203

You deserved it 56 645

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 769

You deserved it 5 870

Caught

By losingstreak - 31/01/2009 20:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 252

You deserved it 38 025

Next

Top comments

pizz0wn3d 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:08

L2Alt F4, windows button D, or even Alt Tab. YDI for being computer illiterate

lonewolf2701 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 9:16

there should be a **** watching class, i declare myself a teacher, rule one: never watch **** parents home :p

Comments

Ziwhtam 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:13

And even if you didn't know the keyboard shortcuts, you could have turned off your computer monitor.

nintendodork 0

Friday 4 December 2009 1:37

YDI for not knowing Alt+Tab or Alt+F4. If you're gonna use the computer for ****, you gotta have an escape route that doesn't rely on the mouse.

Seyral 0

Saturday 5 December 2009 19:54

it's called ALT F4 noob

cmm724 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 6:11

this is why girls don't usually get caught watching ****... we aren't dumbasses about it!! haha

ThorneCrossed 9

Wednesday 22 June 2011 5:12

girls are like goddamn ninjas when it comes to **** and masturbating

rich_el888 0

Tuesday 29 December 2009 14:38

classic!:D

hyefedyee 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 7:27

control alt delete

michael419 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 18:06

wish that I could say that it hasn't happened to me...

col535 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 1:45

that's why I do it on my iPod.

Apotheosis5267 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 21:29

You're not the first, and you sure as hell won't be the last xP

sexton 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 7:38

I got caught once but it wuz becuz I didnt clear the history. then I got internet on my phone then it all changed I still haven't got caught but then again I stopped when I wuz about 13

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The Top

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

Today, my husband threw a bitch-fit and made passive aggressive remarks throughout the entire day. What did I do? Call him out on commenting an eggplant, peach, and winky face emoji under a female friend’s picture. He deactivated all social media accounts and shouted, “Are you happy now? I can’t talk to anyone now!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, all my money was stolen from my room during a stay abroad. I was in the room, I had just fallen asleep with my bag right next to me. When I landed back home, the airline lost my luggage. I am now penniless and don't even have a clean pair of underwear to my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 154

You deserved it 228

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 209

You deserved it 525

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 228

You deserved it 3 052

Today, I got dressed up in my best attire and drove an hour to my family Christmas, only to find out it was canceled, and nobody bothered to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 99

Today, I fucked up a relationship, by accident, and then they broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 717

Today, my husband's latest attempt to torture me was to point out that in every animated kids film like Encanto, Moana, and so on, that somewhere behind Disney's walls is an animator who has to animate the characters boobs and how they bounce when the characters walk. I can’t unsee it; so many films. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 203