Animals: Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly... - FML

By nycplywood - 18/11/2009 21:01 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 398

You deserved it 32 132

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Same thing different taste

Resting bitch face

By Meow, Bitch! - 24/07/2022 11:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 244

Jackson Galaxy moment

By Foreigner Fail - 25/09/2022 13:30

Today, I meowed at my cat and he got really close to me. I then meowed again and he punched me in the face. Them's fightin' words, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 370

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

Fight or flight

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 851

You deserved it 4 148

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 31 289

Catch!

By MouseChaser - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned that as adorable as it might be to watch your cat follow your cursor around the screen, the humor ends when she dives into and breaks the monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 082

You deserved it 28 723

By animal lover... - 05/10/2013 22:34

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 896

You deserved it 4 041

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 112

Your days are numbered, puny human

By Cat Mama - 22/12/2022 09:00

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 181

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

Next

Top comments

Tequilamockngbrd 7

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:12

Mmm, nothing like a good old-fashioned face-mauling' FML! Cats can be vicious. Don't make them feel intimidated; they'll attack. I'm sure you already know this though. F your life... and your face. Definitely your face.

arielhoee 9

Thursday 19 November 2009 2:28

It means the same thing when a guy's dick suddenly gets really big.

Comments

babeyy 0

Friday 20 November 2009 8:19

that was amusing :)

Cassandriana 0

Friday 20 November 2009 18:36

Haha my cat and I have staring contests all the time!

Prawn_fml 2

Sunday 22 November 2009 11:01

Why on earth would you get a cat without learning first how to communicate with it? Staring is a sign of aggression. Idiot.

DameGreyWulf 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 21:03

Well, unless OP got his cat from a breeder, I would think the communication learning starts when he brings it home. Books can't tell you everything, especially about living beings. However the staring thing is pretty much rule number one with all animals. One would assume OP would know this.

sayheyyybabe 0

Thursday 26 November 2009 4:51

I think your cat has anger issues. BTW, when their eyes get really big it generally means that something has excited them. Usually negatively. So yeah, I have staring contests with my cat sometimes. She gets bored after a while though ;)

Shannn 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 21:14

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh so hard.

CBeavers 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 17:06

#92... the yardstick coment was great

Hockeylover87_71 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 7:52

why are fml's so freaking funny when I'm supposed to be quiet????

Hockeylover87_71 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 7:56

wow myfriend_youfail, stop being so freaking immature, I bet ebonygoddess could totally kick your fat ass. go get a life.

Hockeylover87_71 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 8:00

and what does it matter to anyone how another person talks?? are you all seriously that judgemental, enough with all your crap, it's killing me!

PredyJessica 0

Friday 18 June 2010 0:29

i guess cats are different because i can look at my cat directly and it wouldn't attack me

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 38 865

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I agree, your life sucks 920

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You deserved it 6 785

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I agree, your life sucks 52 480

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You deserved it 293

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You deserved it 55