Miscellaneous: Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while...

FML for mobile
Free

By **(: - 09/08/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 559

You deserved it 12 610

April Pisces: Traps and Laughs
Laugh at the best (and worst) April 1st jokes. Watch out, you could be next! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

OK Shaggy

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 03:01 - United States - Randolph

Today, I was pumping gas at a gas station. An attractive woman walked by and the guy pumping gas behind me did a whistle/catcall to her. She then looked at me and gave me a disgusted look. I didn't even try to hit on a girl, and still got rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 118

False alarm

By sillyrabbit - 24/02/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 398

You deserved it 46 650

You dipstick!

By mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 058

You deserved it 40 476

By ShamedJP - 03/04/2009 22:05 - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 247

You deserved it 86 534

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 067

You deserved it 7 465

Whoomp whoomp

By Anonymous - 01/04/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I stopped by the gas station. As I was filling up I noticed a cute guy at the pump next to me. When I was done, I gave him a wink before opening my car door. It was locked. I had to call my Dad to bring my spare keys. The guy was laughing the whole time as I waited for my Dad to show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 698

You deserved it 54 486

Keep walking

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 22:06 - United Kingdom - Kingston

Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 524

You deserved it 4 778

By wench - 23/12/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 558

You deserved it 36 641

We're the main characters

By GymHunky - 03/11/2021 11:00

Today, at the gym, a very attractive lady was working out in front of me, wearing tiny shorts that left zero to the imagination. I kept trying to avert my gaze, until her extremely buff boyfriend came over and threatened me. My crime? I wasn’t checking out his girl enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 154

By offended - 14/06/2012 08:11 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 551

You deserved it 2 450

zaku2capt 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:01

Sexy catfight at a gas station? At least snacks are close by.

cmihran 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 12:00

Well at least you didn't actually get your ass kicked, could of been worse.

Comments

komptonassterry 1

Wednesday 10 August 2011 15:02

this is a major WIN!!!!!

javierb88 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 17:21

****!

lulzmylife 4

Wednesday 10 August 2011 17:22

She should have been threatening to kick *his* ass, not yours. What a blatant dick, to ask for another woman's number right in front of his freakin' girlfriend. Hope she dumped him as soon as they got home.

smileyysss 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 21:33

well, is your ass kicked? i didn't think so..

bubblez1108 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 8:56

I would've cussed her out and said "really?! You're gonna get mad at ME?! He's the one that asked for my number b***h!"

balljoints 8

Friday 12 August 2011 17:49

The lesson to be learned here might be to have a peek around the passenger's side of the car to see if the subject is accompanied before making an ass out of yourself, out of him, and everyone else? By the way, if he's already with a girl and asking you for your phone number, you wouldn't want to try anything "long term" with him would you?