ACAB and Cops: Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches"... - FML

By whatrights - 12/07/2009 08:59 - United States

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 23 814

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By tgd4444 - 23/07/2011 10:29 - Malaysia

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 8 490

End me

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 232

You deserved it 10 165

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 2 680

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 234

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 50 300

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

Innocent

By Boyufd - 19/01/2019 12:00

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 139

Thanks Officer

By Selective Seatbelt Struggle - 01/12/2022 10:00

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 923

By erockinthesuburb - 11/04/2012 16:25 - United States - Algonquin

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 930

You deserved it 41 932

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 4 945

Next

Top comments

zombiepeanut 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:19

That's total abuse of power.

skullbuster 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:41

So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...

Comments

slagger123 0

Thursday 15 July 2010 0:38

******* PIGS, YOU CAN ALL BURN IN HELL!!!

Allaineyyy 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 8:47

I always wondered what would happen if you said no to a search. I guess i know now. Thanks OP. Oh, and FYL.

d4m4s74 12

Saturday 2 October 2010 18:19

it's illegal to search a car or a home without consent, a warrant or probable cause, too bad many cops think not consenting is probable cause

KennKenn 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 15:43

sounds sexual

GirthLongfello 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 20:36

isn't America free??? oh wait it's not haha

mwebb 2

Wednesday 16 May 2012 17:22

Refusing a search is like refusing a breathalyzer test. In SOME states it is reason enough to arrest. With probable cause, can officer can and will take you in.

LovelyGirl9 0

Monday 25 June 2012 5:41

The 4th amendment clearly allows you to say that. Arresting you is unnecessary unles they search you with a warrant. I hate cops.

kickkinit 2

Wednesday 27 June 2012 16:25

You can actually get the police officer in trouble. Unless he had reason to search, like your car smelled of marijuana, he has no right to go against your wish and search anyway.

teddi76 2

Monday 2 July 2012 1:49

In anyone with half a brains terms telling someone they do not have a right to search means you're an idiot who has something to hide so the only way you'll find out what it is by arresting me to take away those rights. You're such a half brain idiot you probably said that first thing so they knew something was in the car. YDI for being that idiot btw and I can't believe people say it sucks for you. They're probably druggies like yourself who tried that before and LOST.

sinner92 4

Sunday 5 August 2012 22:04

You must be a cop. Or want to be...... Maybe you just have a fascination with doughnuts.

10
11
12
13
14
15

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 715

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 106

The Top

Today, I accidentally overheard my thesis supervisor mutter, "fucking idiot" coming out of a Zoom meeting with him. It was only me and him in the Zoom meeting, and he said it 4 seconds after saying goodbye. I just quit Zoom without saying anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 172

Today, I got in a fight with my boyfriend. I sent him a long message pouring my heart out about how hurt I am that he constantly ignores me or responds to almost everything I say in monosyllables. He texted back "ok". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 248

You deserved it 3 774

Today, I was issued with a £60 fine for being parked in a supermarket car-park for more than 3 hours. I work there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 350

You deserved it 2 474

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 998

You deserved it 4 535

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 189

You deserved it 6 830

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 422

You deserved it 2 978