What's that?

By Best-stuf-on-Earth - 12/07/2009 07:07 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 360
You deserved it 78 434
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

shortgurlsaywahh 0

wow I dont know if I should feel sorry for you or if I should laugh at your stupidity? and random sidenote how small are you that you can weasel into the mouth of a snapple bottle?

122 9

Comments

fyourlife33 0

the biggest problem is you were having a check-up on your dick with a dermatologist, what the hell used to be wrong with it? std problems?

22 4
someotherbitch 0

snapple... made from the best stuff on earth!!! I guess it just got better???

18 1
Young_Sparta 0

how do you sound so mean 119(not in the comment, on profile) well anyways...YDI even though most guys probably have had their curiosity moments

5 0
Luv4pink1721 0

What does YDI mean lol I cant figure it out for the life of me?

2 28
Bucinka 5

Ignorant comment. Ever been to a dermatologist? Their job is caring for SKIN. All over the body. (And nails, as it happens) Do you really think melanoma cares where it shows up?

12 0
karafrickenmona 0

YDI = you deserve(d) it

4 1
Humanspider 18

You possibly have made the greatest response ever. I kinda want a snapple now.

1 0
shortgurlsaywahh 0

wow I dont know if I should feel sorry for you or if I should laugh at your stupidity? and random sidenote how small are you that you can weasel into the mouth of a snapple bottle?

122 9
AndelleRae 9

Have you ever seen someone suction a cup or a glass or anything around their mouth? It's the same basic principle. The bottle is air tight. As he's going to town on it, his penis is going to swell a bit, and the thrusting and whatnot will cause suction. Women back in the day had problems like this too because they used glass coke bottles to ********** with. They'd usually have to go to the emergency room and get them removed because it involved the shattering of the bottle. Scary stuff. OP: Next time, just spring for one of those "pocket pussy" things you can get at sex toy shops.

29 2
americayay 0

OW! WHAT THE ****!? why would you share that awful coke bottle story? anyways, this is one of my favorites in a long time.

2 1
ImaBmyLonurTees 0

The size of the snapple bottle aside, I think you posted the wrong fml. It shoud have begun, "Today I got my penis stuck in a snapple bottle. Guess how... FML" or something like that...

41 1
CJ090 0

Um yea 4 the little dick community it is I deff can't fit in no snapple bottle (not 2 sound cocky no pun intended)

2 49
uberchicken 0

It's called a fleshlight, don't ask. And, OP, the opening of a Snapple bottle may seem big for a juice bottle, but it actually isn't fit for an erection.

10 1
blondiee09 0

#70 : it's true, I laughed more at yours than the origanal. LMAO

6 1
Mnemic 5

I wouldn't have told her so much details I think...

5 1
sexymessy 0

I TOTALLY agree! LMAO. This is pretty funny.

0 6
RissaRoo 0

You coulda just said it was a bruise... Didn't have to say how you got it, and if the doc asked, just say rough sex or something!!! Sorry, to hear about your unfortunate event!!!

8 0
sameer672 0

a snapple bottle?? LMAO

8 0
ohheyliza 0

This just made me want snapple

2 1
Inritus1618 1

Anyone else immediately think of Seinfeld where Elaine always walks into Jerry's house and offers him a bottle of Snapple?

4 1
ilovejooo 0

YDI for putting your penis in the snapple bottle in the first place.

26 1
lolzforfun228 3

he might have been taking a piss on the road :D

5 1
diet_otaku 0

you have to stick your penis IN the bottle to piss in it?

9 2
NDnation44 0

Why do you call bullshit? You know you've tried to stick it in something like that when you were younger.

2 0
8trickster8 0

Couldn't you have just lied? Or at least said, "Oh, it's just a bruise, nothing to worry about." I think they would respect you not wanting to explain it in detail.

22 0
BikerMike 0

ROTFLMAO. the only thing funnier would be your dick getting stuck in the bottle.

2 0
Gefangene 0

Damn, this makes me want to have sex with you just so you dont have to resort to that. I feel sorry for you babe:( Go find a hooker, lol

19 7
intotheblue 0

... or an easy female online who will have sex with you out of pity. God that's creepy. Anyway YDI, and #9 is right, you could've been a bit more vague than that, and spared both you and them the awkwardness.

15 2
mfoster1014 0

Today, a girl replied to my FML saying that she feels bad that I had to stick my penis into a snapple bottle, so she would want to have sex with me. FML.

32 1