ACAB and Cops: Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches"... - FML

By whatrights - 12/07/2009 08:59 - United States

Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 23 814

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Same thing different taste

By tgd4444 - 23/07/2011 10:29 - Malaysia

Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 8 490

End me

By Daniel_rules - 17/04/2009 17:02 - United States

Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 232

You deserved it 10 165

Busted

By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 23:15

Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 2 680

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 234

Underage boozing

By drunk under 18 teenager - 19/08/2014 13:37 - Morocco - Marrakech

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 092

You deserved it 50 300

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

Innocent

By Boyufd - 19/01/2019 12:00

Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 139

Thanks Officer

By Selective Seatbelt Struggle - 01/12/2022 10:00

Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 923

By erockinthesuburb - 11/04/2012 16:25 - United States - Algonquin

Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 930

You deserved it 41 932

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 4 945

Next

Top comments

zombiepeanut 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:19

That's total abuse of power.

skullbuster 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:41

So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...

Comments

truerebel 1

Tuesday 30 October 2012 14:56

Duh. If u don't have anything to hide, it shouldn't be a problem.

Raivyn_Grimm 9

Tuesday 25 June 2013 17:28

Are you with the NSA?

madgrinchhatter 12

Tuesday 20 November 2012 1:28

Lol

insomniac8400 13

Monday 31 December 2012 10:55

What do you expect? Denying consent to a search only takes away the cops right to search you then and there- if he really wants to search you, the next step is to cuff you and take you to the station and get you a lawyer

Raivyn_Grimm 9

Tuesday 25 June 2013 17:32

Actually, my last comment was unneccessary. I think the NSA has been commenting throughout the whol comment section on this one.

JCal585 8

Tuesday 21 January 2014 22:12

If you have nothing to hide, why not consent? The best way to keep yourself out of trouble is to cooperate with the police. They will always win if you don't. And if you have something to hide, if the cop has probable cause to search your vehicle, he's going to find it. And if you have something to hide, I would be willing to bet that the police officer has probable cause. So just tell him what you have and make his job easier- he or she is just trying to make a living.

loganberrybat 11

Thursday 30 January 2014 14:29

It means that in normal person speak too. If you've nothing to hide why refuse?

ty4nier 16

Thursday 15 January 2015 22:49

You know they have to do that if they feel a legitimate reason to search right? It's not you being difficult you're invoking your constitutional right and he's just following protocol.

bhfriday 9

Thursday 19 February 2015 22:36

what a bitch

AntiSocialKitten 21

Friday 14 August 2015 3:52

Most states have a standing law about that. It's that if you are the driver of any vehicle you get into you automatically consent to random stops and searches. It's a ridiculous law and they abuse that.

anon385 23

Saturday 9 January 2016 11:51

If a cop wants to search you, let them. What, did you have drugs on you? If you say that you don't want to be searched it's highly suspicious

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The Top

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 269

You deserved it 373

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 313

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I walked into my house to find several of my friends there for a surprise sweet sixteen party my mom was throwing for me. Everything was going great until the doorbell rang and a clown walked in. My mom hired a clown for my sweet sixteen. My friends took pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 631

You deserved it 5 848

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 978

You deserved it 3 948

Today, my mother told me she forgot what a verb is. I'm homeschooled, and she's my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 717

You deserved it 5 096

Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our drive with his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 224