Kids: Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I...

By Raela - 04/01/2013 16:59 - United States - Fort Lee

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 7 612

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Same thing different taste

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 290

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 9 321

Little bundles of joy

By SD. - 15/05/2021 16:06 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 605

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 644

You deserved it 10 789

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 173

By cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 173

You deserved it 9 923

Someone648 10

Friday 4 January 2013 18:55

Chocolate raisins?

Pleonasm 35

Friday 4 January 2013 19:01

Grapes of Bath- By John Steinbeck.

Comments

Pleonasm 35

Friday 4 January 2013 19:06

Yea, this way she can save money on buying more raisins.

simoncat 11

Friday 4 January 2013 19:07

No one fully digests raisins. Or corn. They plump, then poop out.

nothing92x 13

Friday 4 January 2013 19:08

This is raisin quite a laugh out of me.

LolPieRofl 11

Friday 4 January 2013 19:15

Im sick and tired of these shit puns.

Pleonasm 35

Friday 4 January 2013 19:22

No need to as-sultana this guy for drying to make a joke.

LolPieRofl 11

Saturday 5 January 2013 1:49

i was just making a pun :(

loserman67 35

Friday 4 January 2013 19:10

Feed your toddler some corn and peas along with the raisins, you'll get a nice little salad in return.

perdix 29

Friday 4 January 2013 19:13

If this freaked you out, you should probably not get a pet rabbit.

lilbit91011 6

Friday 4 January 2013 19:20

Aww. Sorry mama but hilarious. They can work as a laxative too.

heliraptor 13

Friday 4 January 2013 21:00

Well if I were OP, I'd rather have this than a constipated kid. Fishing little raisin turds out of the bathtub sucks, but not as much as the grief you'd be getting for the next couple days if he or she couldn't go at all. Just a thought.

Exitium_Verum 2

Friday 4 January 2013 19:20

LOL rabbit baby?

ICastillo 24

Friday 4 January 2013 19:27

Nobody likes raisins. Why would you feed your poor baby them? Your baby was just getting revenge for making her eat those disgusting things.

courtneyann211 10

Friday 4 January 2013 20:40

I personally have always liked raisins

ICastillo 24

Friday 4 January 2013 21:30

I like turtles.

gc327072 30

Friday 4 January 2013 23:00

I like trains.

dangousity 21

Saturday 5 January 2013 1:24

#59 .........

Enslaved 36

Friday 4 January 2013 19:28

I'm sure that toddlers can indeed digest raisins. Are you sure he didn't just shove them up his bum instead? They go through that anal retentive stage at that age. :P

poccocurantes 7

Saturday 5 January 2013 6:04

Yeah whole raisins imply that baby was not chewing them. The worse thing is I have the old Kellogs Raisin Bran commercial in my head. Two scoops of raisins...