Kids: Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I...

By Raela - 04/01/2013 16:59 - United States - Fort Lee

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 837

You deserved it 7 611

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 290

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 895

You deserved it 474

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 01:55 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I discovered that my 8-year old is not fully toilet trained when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 9 320

Little bundles of joy

By SD. - 15/05/2021 16:06 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 17/04/2017 08:00 - Australia - Moonee Ponds

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 190

You deserved it 602

5-star meal

By storyofmylife - 15/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 643

You deserved it 10 789

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 173

By cjay2200 - 28/08/2011 21:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 172

You deserved it 9 921

Someone648 10

Friday 4 January 2013 18:55

Chocolate raisins?

Pleonasm 35

Friday 4 January 2013 19:01

Grapes of Bath- By John Steinbeck.

Comments

alfakennybody 10

Saturday 5 January 2013 4:37

Maybe your toddler was saving them for a snack later.

ilarsnl 9

Saturday 5 January 2013 5:12

Are you the same person that posted this on r/TIFU? (Reddit). There was a story of someone who gave her baby raisins too a few hours ago.

lies_ah 3

Saturday 5 January 2013 5:24

nah apparently no one can really digest raisins fully I heard

Brie_Nicole 3

Saturday 5 January 2013 8:31

Maybe you should talk to your parents or a pediatrician about what to feed your toddler so you don't end up with a tiny upset tummy.

thelastnerd 5

Saturday 5 January 2013 14:14

You probably should have studied up a bit more on what to/not to feed a baby before, you know, having one...

TacoBelle 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 19:50

If this is the worst, or most disgusting, FML you can come up with as a parent and your child's 15 months old, you're doing pretty good.

iloveryan052710 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 22:32

That doesn't make sense. The only way it would is if she swallowed them whole..

tylerknight99 5

Saturday 5 January 2013 23:26

Reedit tifu!!!!!

you987sure 4

Sunday 6 January 2013 16:37

You got this from Reddit haha. I can't imagine who would want to spread this vomit-worthy material to other sites just for FYL's.

1crabbygirl 10

Monday 7 January 2013 7:24

Gross. This is hardly an fml, and I regret reading it.

Keywords

Weird Underwear Clothes Miscellaneous Halloween Dogs Animals Cute Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Work Scary Phobias Kids Embarrassing Shopping Mental health Therapy Health Friends Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Thief Customers Argument

The Top

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 009

You deserved it 3 146

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 170

The Top

Who's employee of the month?

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 148

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 5 969

Today, I was fired from my job because I called out my supervisor for withholding my W-2s (wage and tax statements). I know full well it's a retaliatory action. However, the store manager is ducking all my calls when I try to report it. I can't afford a lawyer, especially when the company is a multi-billion dollar brand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 118

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 827

You deserved it 7 820

Today, after being unemployed for over four months, I got a call from a company I've wanted to work for for over 2 years. After they were about to set up an interview, they called me by a different name. After correcting them, they hung up on me. Turns out they had the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 177

Today, I got into a pretty heated argument with my boss. On my way out the door I told him he would be lucky if I came back to work. Unfortunately, I left the interior light on in my truck and it drained the battery. I had to go back in and ask for a jump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 805

You deserved it 36 206