Intimacy: Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay...

FML for mobile
Free

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 705

You deserved it 43 802

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonomous - 07/02/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, it looks like I may have an STD. My fiancé and his friends went to Vegas two months ago. He says he's been completely faithful. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Turns out that's not quite true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 036

You deserved it 4 724

By openmouthinsertfoot - 07/12/2010 17:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 663

You deserved it 41 932

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 514

You deserved it 13 893

By heartbroke - 03/11/2012 10:02 - United States - Erie

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 592

You deserved it 3 491

Are you serious?

By ummno - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 018

You deserved it 13 740

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 502

You deserved it 38 944

Caught in 4K

By Frank S. - 17/06/2021 19:59

Today, I was about to enter a hotel with a friend-with-benefits. We then saw her boyfriend exiting the same hotel with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 1 966

Breaking news

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 704

You deserved it 9 603

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 458

You deserved it 4 365

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I came home a few days early from a 3-month business trip. As I opened my apartment door, hoping to surprise my girlfriend, the man she's apparently been cheating on me with promptly punched me in the face. He thought I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 609

You deserved it 5 373

H00K_M 8

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:12

You forgot to say she's pregnant.

meganasoarus 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 16:18

isn't anyone wondering why he gave her his address?

Comments

jwu87 4

Wednesday 6 July 2011 6:35

sorry man

Arch27 27

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:30

Stalker? Or did you share way too much info?

tamoodielovesmar 1

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:37

Turns out it wasnt a one night stand after all!

Playboy420 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 10:23

Hyde? Is that you?

Jaricko00001 1

Saturday 16 June 2012 2:28

Well don't have one night stands

giggitygoo12 7

Thursday 20 September 2012 2:21

Nooooooooooooooooo DERP!!!!

hiwazup_24 4

Saturday 14 September 2013 17:11

I saw this fml on YouTube

iceking53 8

Sunday 6 July 2014 19:20

I'm curious what state you live in

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 3 January 2015 21:38

I want to know how she got your address.

Tripartita 44

Friday 23 October 2015 5:30

Remember, she's more scared of you than you are of her. Just puff up your chest and roar until she leaves.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Relatable Work Health Sports Scary Dentist Management Parents Awkward Kids Covid Exams Cops Cheating Love Break-ups Grandparents Cute Miscellaneous Neighbours Annoying Birthday Weird Sex Intimacy Movies Injury Friends Food

The Top

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he turned out to be my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 387

You deserved it 24 153

Today, I got my braces in. I also got my period a week early. Tylenol can only help so much with the pain, but if I have something warm to eat/drink the wire tightens but my cramps aren't be as bad. I would have something cold, but we only have frozen meat and chunky ice cream, which I can't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 128

The Top

Today, I went skiing for the very first time and spent more time falling down than actually skiing. Despite the fact that I'm up here in the mountains for another week with my family, I'm never trying that again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 377

Today, I learned not to get a job as an elephant keeper at the zoo when the water at home is out for a week for renovations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 428

You deserved it 190

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "It's okay, I still like the song." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 632

You deserved it 5 033

Today, my old frenemy told me she married my college boyfriend who made a fortune during the early days of Bitcoin. They have no kids, a massive house, retired when they were 45 and are moving to their retirement villa in Hawaii. I'm divorced and on benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 223

Today, I’m in hospital because a pub dart fell from the sky, seemingly from nowhere, and stuck itself in the top of my skull. I was walking my dog, I wasn’t near any trees or any high buildings it could have fallen from. If someone threw it from where I couldn’t see them, it was a very lucky shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 88

Today, I noticed that the eye drops I have been using three times a day for the past week expired when the Jonas Brothers were popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 455

You deserved it 5 581