Animals: Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a...

By freakfreak12345 - 19/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 640

You deserved it 74 794

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Same thing different taste

By sisi9999 - 25/07/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 994

You deserved it 3 592

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 26/06/2013 17:51 - United States - State College

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 919

You deserved it 4 100

Heavenly Shower

By deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 703

You deserved it 1 947

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 08:39 - United Kingdom

Today, while using a portable restroom at the park, I discovered all too late that some very hostile and territorial hornets had made it their home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 371

You deserved it 1 739

By Asshole hornet - 28/10/2013 20:18 - United States - Marblehead

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 379

You deserved it 3 503

By BearGrillz - 17/08/2009 23:40 - United States

Today, there were some wasps getting in my bedroom from a hole in the frame of my window. I went outside with some spray and took out their entrance. What I didnt know is that when you spray wasps, they go the other direction. I now have 60+ wasps flying around my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 319

You deserved it 25 989

Your brain on alcohol

By michael - 17/07/2019 12:07

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to shit out the second story window is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 2 925

By someone euthanize me - 16/01/2016 08:17

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 879

You deserved it 8 044

Mi24hind 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 22:28

YDI for peeing on the hornets. what did they do to you?

KaptainKronicX 5

Tuesday 19 July 2011 22:36

They must have been pissed. ;)

Comments

Millman_fml 9

Wednesday 20 July 2011 2:42

Wow. fyl

loveluver7 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 2:55

are you stupid or something?

pandybear2083 5

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:04

Dumbass!!

Kayble89 13

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:05

YDI for being a complete idiot.

annihil8or 15

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:06

Ydi for messing with, u know they stingers dummy

lilclare 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:21

why? just why?

broomhildo 19

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:37

Because that sounded like such a good idea, right?

TheRealSIDeal 1

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:43

here's the prestigious award for being the biggest idiot ever. you should go audition for jackass 4.

lusk123 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:45

lmao, dumbass

Tristan6502 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 4:11

One word FAKE.

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The Top

Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 375

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 922

You deserved it 18 098

Today, I went to work to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so it was very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 563

You deserved it 5 372

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 058

You deserved it 2 570

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 5 651

Today, I was told that school was cancelled for the rest of the year. School is/was my one place of escape, and the only distraction in my life. It's now not going to be an escape until September. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 335

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 538

You deserved it 4 447

Same thing different taste

Invasion

Heavenly Shower

Your brain on alcohol

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