Painful and Health: Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with...

By monkeycannon7 - 24/04/2012 16:36 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, I learned the hard way not to take off your shirt with a toothpick in your mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 346

You deserved it 29 704

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Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 269

You deserved it 8 489

By ow - 17/01/2010 05:25 - United States

Today, I learned that when you put duct tape over your mouth because you are bored, it really hurts taking it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 250

You deserved it 69 789

By Millian2 - 08/04/2012 02:10 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 027

You deserved it 3 714

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 412

Pizza mystery

By Pick out the picks - 24/09/2022 15:30 - United States

Today, I picked out a toothpick from a pizza. This is not the first time I've had to do this. It is also not the first time that I didn't see it until less than a second before I bit down on the piece with the toothpick embedded in it. Looks like there's a toothpick assassin on the loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 128

By The Seamstress - 20/05/2017 11:00 - United States - Irving

Today, while sewing, I learned that I cannot hold pins in my mouth and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 028

You deserved it 5 520

Great idea

By dumbbb - 27/12/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I tried to open the door with my mouth because my hands were full. I chipped a tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 46 028

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 333

You deserved it 429

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 605

You deserved it 16 358

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 769

Cad6 24

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:53

Did the toothpick scribe any interesting symbols in your mouth? If you look in the mirror, The following phrase might be written in your blood: YDI.

bwhahaha_fml 10

Tuesday 24 April 2012 22:56

Go take your shirt off with a toothpick in your mouth and find out :)

Comments

ashtay01 5

Wednesday 25 April 2012 21:40

Hahah that's a duh! moment

upsidedownfrownn 5

Wednesday 25 April 2012 23:29

Why what happens?? Did you swallow it or something?

borche 5

Thursday 26 April 2012 1:21

Hahaha Ouch that must have hurt... Still funny though.

bassgod 9

Thursday 26 April 2012 23:37

Free lip piercing!! :D

aileen15 15

Friday 27 April 2012 19:59

agreed haha

aileen15 15

Friday 27 April 2012 19:50

agreed haha

sdroze1389 31

Wednesday 8 January 2014 2:42

you're what Darwin had in mind

BuchiNeko 14

Sunday 23 February 2014 7:35

I can't even read this without cringing.

mschmuty_fml 19

Tuesday 29 April 2014 3:49

Must of been a picky situation

cartedor 18

Tuesday 2 September 2014 1:21

omg, you lost an eye, right?

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Animals Dogs Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 76

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 3 667

Today, I had to explain to my mother that faith healing will not work on plumbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 854

You deserved it 3 161

Today, because of my full-time job, full-time courses, studying for the GRE, anxiety disorder, insomnia, and a recent pet death, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My mother texted, "Looking through old photos, you were so skinny, what happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 454

You deserved it 457

Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 569

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I was snowboarding when a skier cut me off, resulting in me colliding with a 12 year-old girl. The girl was totally fine, and I was alright except for a slight nose bleed. I apologized to the girl, then her mom hit me over the back with a ski pole as I snowboarded away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 612

You deserved it 3 785

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 130

Same thing different taste

First dates

Pizza mystery

Great idea

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